Lack of NHS support after suicide attempt

[Jas115]

Hi,

I’m really hoping I can get some advice here.
Last week my Dad took a large overdose. We thankfully found him and he was treated and seems to be physically ok.
He was discharged from hospital 3 days later and the problem is the lack of support we are now experiencing.
We had a meeting with a psychiatrist and social worker yesterday, the only plan they came up with was to implement a routine like hoovering, cleaning etc to keep him busy. I tried to tell them that this would not help, he’s not able to do things like that right now. But they said let’s see how it goes - they seem to not understand that if it doesn’t work he may make another attempt.
They stated that a mental hospital will not be a good place for him and make him worse. Does anyone with experience of these hospitals agree with this?
Any advice on what to do next would be much appreciated.
Just a bit of background on my Dad - he is retired so can be on his own a lot during the week, he has recently had a diagnoses of asd and suffers from severe depression and anxiety.

Thanks

Did anyone live with him? Even if he’s alone during the day getting some interaction every night would help. Are any of your family working from home and he could perhaps go there and they could extend their working day to take some more regular breaks and then another family member takes over in the evening? What did his hobbies used to be? Does he have a passion for anything?

@LouiseTrees thanks for responding.

I should have given some more information about this - he does live with my Mum who works full time. Myself and my siblings are taking it in turns to also be there to help - none of us live that close to them (we are all working from home at the moment). He isn’t on his own at all right now but we feel like we don’t know how to help him. He will have to be on his own at some point.
He keeps talking about the overdose experience all the time and we are trying to be as supportive as possible by allowing him to speak about it and try to help him make sense of it.
He had lots of interests before the depression but now he can’t find the energy to do anything, even watch TV. He needs full time care from us and we just aren’t getting anywhere with his recovery.

Is he on antidepressants? Does he acknowledge that he shouldn’t have tried to overdose , what’s the chat he actually has about it? Has he explain what motivated him towards it/the stem of the depression?

Has he had a referral to the Older Persons Mental Health Team. The may be able to put allocate Community Nurse who will visit.
If your father has suicidal thoughts is to ring 111 and find out where the Crisis Mental Health Team is situated. You may then need to go to A and E in order for them to see you and take your fathers case on.

Is his GP involved ? They may also be able to trigger a referral.

My mum spent most of her life in psychiatric institutions - they are really only for the most seriously unwell. Lots of people in very serious psychotic dangerous states. I'm not a health professional but I really would not wish anyone having to go into one. They are a bit like prisons (locked doors etc).

Is there any way you can get him some counselling? From memory, there are some online resources he can tap into if he's up to it. If he's a reader, Mind Over Mood is v good.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's very frightening feeling you can't keep someone safe.

He would not benefit from the hospitals as they are now and the advice you have been given is likely to be in accordance with thresholds. Follow a safety and recovery plan

• write down all your contact numbers and the contact number for your local adult crisis team and NHS 111 and the Samaritans and make sure he has a simple plan of who to contact first in a crisis.
• self refer to local iapt service if no follow up has been arranged. If this is not suitable they can refer him on.
• see GP regularly and inform them of any risks or changes
• encourage a graded gradually improving baby steps routine of self care eg showering, gentle or vigorous exercise, doing pleasurable activities, doing things for others, promote a good sleep routine, social contact and connection.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

A phone line counsellor? Someone to talk to? Ultimately he is the only one responsible for his own life and you can’t “keep” him alive.

If he has ASD he may find being away from home stressful and upsetting - different routines and food for example - but a mental health ward would be even worse: a lot of patients in there will be erratic, possibly even aggressive, and the place will be noisy and chaotic, impacting his ability to relax and sleep.

The "treatment" will involve being doped up to the eyeballs and left in a bed with no actual therapy or any other input of any note. These are places that are simply holding areas to ensure people do not kill themselves; nothing more.

I speak as someone with both ASD and as someone who once spent three months as an MH inpatient (during which time they spectacularly failed to diagnose the ASD. Or do anything at all to help me, frankly.)

Your dad is exhausted from a lifetime of battling a neurological disorder which makes the world around him overwhelming, confusing and hopelessly hard to comprehend. The best thing i can recommend for him are beta blockers such as propanolol and online support forums for people with ASD, as well as doing a great deal of reading into the condition and how it affects individuals. The National Autistic Society may be able to offer some support.

You could perhaps offer practical help in the short term - shoppIng or cleaning and helping him to sort out any money worries he may have.

Otherwise I'm sorry to say there really is very little help available for mental health issues on the NHS, and for adults with neurological conditions, even less.

Wishing you both well,

C

My brother has had two periods in the last ten years in a mental health in patient unit (psychotic episodes linked to bipolar) .They really are tough places and to be honest it was more for us as a family to have a bit of respite and know he was in a secure place and to give us a breather from worrying constantly that he would do himself harm and to stabilise him somewhat . I don't feel it particularly made him 'better' being an in patient that was more sorting medication and waiting for the episode to pass (months) .The second time he was in he was still very unwell when he got discharged. They are also tough places to visit. It's really hard. The cpns were great that he had though.

Unfortunately I found the same when my dm took an overdose, there is no support. I stayed with my mum for a week after to keep an eye on her. She refused to talk to anyone about it and I'm scared she will try it again but it's been 3 years since she tried it and I think she scared herself doing it.
I still have the letter she sent me incase she does it again. I'm sorry your going through this op.

Would he look after a dog? For company and to get him out of the house everyday. Make sure he is taking a high dose of vitamin supplements every day. Vitamin D deficiency can cause very low mood. Being low in iron or B vitamins can make him feel exhausted.
Is there a form of exercise he likes? Difficult in lockdown, but again, something to get him out and talking to people. Golf?
Would he read self-help books? I hope that he can access therapy asap.

From a medical point of view this is beyond frustrating.
We know that a patient admitted to our hospital following an overdose, serious attempt at ending life, that once we have psyched them up physically and sent them out of those doors that there is almost nothing in place to give them a desperately needed helping hand to get through and recover.
It makes me so so utterly sad and feel so helpless.

I worry to death about the people we care for in such a short amount of time. They come to us the lowest most desperate time, yet beyond our physical care, we have nothing else for them.

It has always been this way, it never improves, it goes nowhere near tackling a huge issue.

Be assured that not every bit of the system is so dismissive and final and uncaring, we on the front line of this (ordinary Drs & nurses) do really really care and worry way after discharge about folk like your dad.
All I can say is sorry that you and your family are so let down.

Hi All,

Thank you so much for these helpful responses and insights.
We were offered a bed for my Dad at an institution the day after posting this message and because of the responses I’d received, I did discuss things with my family and we decided it wasn’t the best option for him.
We went back to his psychiatrist and requested another meeting, they have now agreed to put a weekly support worker in place, an occupational therapist and a few sessions of therapy.
It does not solve all our problems but I now realise that will not happen. The support they have put in place I am really hoping will help in some way.
And I’m going to focus on trying to get him to enjoy the things he used to and try and build up his confidence in getting out of the house again.