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When your whole worlds swept out from under you , how do you ever recover?

10 replies

Filou6 · 11/11/2020 20:56

Ok so life’s never been easy , but I suppose everyone has their rubbish
Just this year .. everything I’ve ever known, everything I held dear ... my health, my relationship, job... my beautiful children
Gone .... battles with social services and losing
Today I did debate just filling my car up and seeing how far it got me
Then dissapear
I’ve never felt so lost and alone and haven’t a clue what to do to feel better or dare I say it ,, normal
I cry for my babies , the pain is is worse than any knife could inflict and the shame of all that’s happened is torture
When you try to rebuild a life yet get told your finding a job and trying to live is you hiding from the issues yet your job brings you true joy and focus
When all you’ve done is love your children and do everything you can for them yet are told you can only see them supervised... based on assumption... not evidence
When every word you say is twisted
And there is no one to share the burden
Because you’ve been isolated
Made to be unable to trust anyone and when you find yourself sat in your car sobbing in pure pain and not knowing how the heck to fix this
When your heads saying you just can’t see a way forward
No one feels you are a good person or deserve to be loved or even hugged
What did I ever do to deserve to be labelled this awful wicked person when I’ve only ever acted in kindness and with absolute goodness
Help

OP posts:
Filou6 · 11/11/2020 20:57

Darkness consumes

OP posts:
bearlyactive · 11/11/2020 21:08

OP, it sounds like you've had a rough time of it, and you're feeling especially low tonight. Have you tried calling the Samaritans, or even emailing them? Their number is 116 123, and their email is [email protected]. Flowers

Filou6 · 11/11/2020 21:12

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bearlyactive · 11/11/2020 21:20

Been to see your GP? They could refer you for some counselling if you haven't already had some.

merryhouse · 11/11/2020 21:43

You keep going. That's your only other option. You visit your children under supervision, you comply with the requirements even if you think they're ridiculous and unfair. You look for work and when you've got some you do it. You contact people you used to know and see if anyone is prepared to say hello to you. You shower, eat, sleep, pay bills. Then you do all that all over again.

It's not enjoyable. But it's what is in front of you.

OhTheRoses · 11/11/2020 21:51

I get it OP. Carry on for your DC and the hope that things may come right.

I know mothers get stitched up and those in charge can be wrong. I was once screamed at down a busy A&E dept that I was obstructing my child's care and causing a safeguarding issue. The HCP was miles out of her intellectual depth and I was able to advocate and my child was 17.

I really and truly don't believe some of the professionals given responsibility have the intellectual capacity for it.

Hang in there and seek help. Please seek help and support. I don't know your backstory but feel sure it won't be straightforward and there will have been some misinterpretation.

Flowers
calamityjam · 11/11/2020 21:54

Don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
If I could show my husband what he had to live for, I would show him our beautiful, healthy, clever, kind and gentle souls that our little babies have grown up to be. I would show him the many many people who find love over and over again. I would show him that there are so many paths going in so many directions, each one a journey not yet traveled.
But I can't because 15 years ago we split up and 14 years ago he took his own life.
You will come back from this. That's a fact but it's up to you. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving

wirldsgonemad · 11/11/2020 21:58

Sounds really tough op, you have my sympathy Thanks

HebeMumsnet · 11/11/2020 22:02

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Flowers

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

bearlyactive · 12/11/2020 15:57

How are you today OP?

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