ADHD in adult women

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NC for this. Long story short, have a long mental health history first needing professional help when I was a very young child. As I child, my primary diagnosis was OCD. As an adult, the primary diagnosis has been depression which I've had a few bouts of.

A lot of what I have struggled with and, in my view, what gives rise to some of the depression is that I've basically got quite significant yet maskable problems with executive functioning. Looking at my childhood the EF problems were massive (struggling hugely with everything from time to navigation..basically just being lost in space) but I don't think ever really looked at. In adulthood, it was very frustrating with my last psychologist to try to explain that actually, I felt the problem was this way around: depression wasn't stopping me functioning - poor functioning was causing depression. Being a mother now is highlighting all my deficits to me once more.

Anyway, I have considered nearly every diagnosis in the book to explain my lifelong and recurring issues but, having had an OCD diagnosis, the one thing I never thought about was ADHD as I believe it's generally felt you can't have both. Lately, having happened upon some info about ADHD though, I read about it and suddenly felt that it explains exactly everything that I go through. It resonates so much. I can't believe I never happened upon this before.

But, is it possible that I could have ADHD if I also have (had) OCD? Would it be worth trying to get a diagnosis now in my thirties? Does anyone have a similar experience? Like so many people I just feel that it could be life changing to have, finally, THE ANSWER. But at the same time, maybe I will be told I don't have it and be disappointed that there is no answer. Maybe no one will feel it's worth referring me. I feel a bit repeatedly let down by the system.

I would really appreciate any experiences or personal stories or advice people could share about any of this.

I'm pretty sure that I have inattentive ADHD. I've spoken to my GP who agrees and did refer me, but not down a route that led to a diagnosis unfortunately.

However, having recently hit a very rough patch with what I believe are symptoms of ADHD, I have done a lot of reading and put in place some of the measures that are recommended.

Accepting that I may have ADHD and then following the advice for people with ADHD has made a noticeable difference to me. It isn't a magic fix but in the absence of being able to get medication (and I'm not sure I want medication) it has proven very helpful indeed to self-diagnose and put measures in place.

@INeedNewShoes I'm sorry you a rough patch but I'm glad to hear that some of the measures have been helpful for you. Is there any particular reading you would recommend?

I guess I am wondering whether I should just self diagnose and attempt to self manage accordingly, but there is a part of me that wants to have a diagnosis that I feel is validated enough to use to explain myself to other people. If you don't mind my asking, how do you navigate that? Having had some validation from your GP though sounds encouraging.

ADHD and OCD can often go hand in hand. As someone who’s been diagnosed with both, knowing I had ADHD changed my life

Boggled that is honestly so helpful to hear thank you and I'm glad it changed things for you.

My daughters just been diagnosed. The nurse who I spent hours on the phone with, (for her assessments) said she thought I had it too. She was prescribed meds & improved no end! I took one out of interest (yeah I know I know! Don't bother having a go at me) but me reasoning was I am a healthy women & if it's safe for my daughter etc It was a revelation actually managed to get stuff done & finish things.

Don't blame you for trying the meds at all. I'm sure I would have! I'm glad things are going well for your DD. So I guess these things run in families. Is it too soon to start speculating about my wild toddler...

I reached a crisis point after being promoted (not properly just given two jobs to do and no job description, I honestly think they saw me and my adhd coming) and it was either my job or my sanity. I chose sanity, got signed off for a month and during that time saw a private psych for a diagnosis. I had come across it earlier that year and like you no idea why I never realised sooner- it was like oh yes of course that's me. After diagnosis I put it to one side, it was primarily to 'know' and possibly as protection at work. I actually didn't at the time feel particularly vindicated, more defiant that I would defy the label and be the person that beats/manages their own adhd. What actually happened was I changed my diet, developed tonnes more energy and became borderline insomniac. I was full of energy but my focus was on everything. It was like a long period of hyperfocus of several months. Then it came to the end of summer and my energy dipped and I felt the brain fog and reached for sugar, I then decided to try meds. By the time I saw my Psych I had stopped sugar and felt better but decided to try meds.

Wow. They were life changing. Taking them made it easier to focus, easier to start things, less distracted. So much less worrying about what I am doing. More emotionally regulated. The progress I made then has given me more confidence. I even got a new job!

For me they were not without side effects and I had just settled on one when lockdown happened which changed everything. Lots of my support factors went, I could not take meds because of anxiety, so I have had to learn to manage without. My new thing is exercise, which I neglected on the meds. Actually I think exercise helps as much as meds. I should say I also take a low dose antidepressant (citalopram which is good for focus and motvation if you have adhd). The feeling of getting stuff done is a virtous circle. I still have to strategise but actually without meds I am getting comfortable with a few strategies that seem to work reliably for me. Don't get me wrongI still have tonnes of progress to go. On self acceptance, this was huge for me. At some point, maybe when I told work, I just kind of accepted and now I don't even compare myself or get frustrated (well maybe a little frustrated). The negatives of getting a diagnosis are cost (if private though your GP shoul fund Right to Choose), time to get meds right, reaction from family/friends, possible negativity from an employer if they don't understand. Other positives, in work coaching support from Access to Work. It also encouraged me to read more about it.