Hi, i'm completely new here but i have been reading through on other posts about Citalopram, it has helped ease my worrries a little but i have a few things i'd like to have some answers to if possible, any advise or reassurance is very much apprieciated. Pre-warning this is a long post as i would like to explain how things branched into where i am now. Thank you in advance for taking you time to read.
I'm 27 and 6 months ago i gave birth to my baby girl who was sadly diasgnosed with a Congenital Heart Defect known as Pulmonary Atresia/Stenosis. She had a cardiac arrest at 2weeks old, and had a very bumpy recovery for 3 months, we finally bought her home in July, now at first i felt fine, of course the normal mum worries and constant checking. But after a few weeks i noticed my mood was horrible, i was very agitated and irritable, i thought nothing of it and thought it was due to lack of sleep, i ended up talking to my psyciatrist and she explained that my anxiety is playing tricks, i told her it's like a little voice in my head telling me everything negative, every little thing was turned into something so negative, and she agreed that it is my anxiety trying to tell me things, but come the beginning of October i felt awful, i didn't want to get out of bed and my anxiety was my demon, telling me the most horrible, scary things... An example i have is one day i was watching my Boyfriend changing our baby and my mind just went " Well, what if this is the last time i see this, what if i don't wake up in the morning?" Obviously this was a VERY scary thing, as it came out of no where. That week i rang my GP crying for help, they put me on 20mg of Citalopram, the first 2weeks i felt AWFUL , i just wanted to stay in bed, but for 3 days i was perfectly fine, i had no worries at all, and i felt positive, then after those 3 days it was week 3 and my anxiety spiked to it's maximum to the point that i was crying and begging for my head to stop, my head telling me i'm more ill than i actually am, that the Dr's are missing something or that my meds are affecting my heart and that the Dr's are missing something more serious. Then on Saturday (31st Oct) i ended up ringing 111 after a loud voice went "What if it's time to go?" this scared me so bad,.. i got through to the NHS Mental Health team and spoke things through where they confirmed my anxiety is at its highest peak. I finally calmed down after an hour and managed to get some sleep, now 3 days later that little niggling voice has gone muffled,.. it's still there but not as loud as it was, and i have actually thought about what that voice said that night, may it was that voice was admitting that my meds are actually working and that my anxiety can no longer control me anymore (I feel so silly, or like i'm crazy admitting all this.) I got a presciption for Promethazine today, but me listening to my Anxiety again i looked it up and how it works with Citalopram (not a good idea) and i read that they ain't recommened to be taken together due to risk of causing heart rythem problems, or worse. Now i'm to paranoid to even try taking them, has anyone had these and had a positive affect?
I am sorry this is so long, i'm just trying to now get myself in order and tell myself things are getting better, i feel like it's currently a never ending circle and that i won't ever feel better, happy or normal again. My depression seems to be better but my anxiety is just dragging me down. There's a niggling thing my mind tries to tell me and that's that i'm asleep and dreaming everything, if not worse, and i find myself counting my pulse and checking my heart rate daily, it is honestly so annoying and beats me down more. I was possibly thinking that seeming as things seem to be getting better (finally) maybe give it another week, see how i feel and maybe see if dr's will up my dose alittle to maybe help my anxiety abit more? but i'm not sure as i know they can take up to 8 weeks to be at its full effect. Should i wait the 8 weeks or call GP in the morning?
Thank you so much for reading this and taking your time to reply.