I know we all have our issues but...

[oreGOREnianabroad]

I am just finding it all SO. DIFFICULT. at the moment.

What is wrong with me? Am I a shit mother? Do I have PND? Am I going to end up like my own mother, lonely, addicted to pills and booze and blaming everyone for her problems? I've certainly already got the lonely part covered.

Where has the person I was before I got married and had kids gone? Why do I always have to sacrifice what I want, and STILL get labelled the bossy one? Why do I look forward to every weekend, and then spend hours rowing over what to do with dh? Why won't ds1 get dressed in the morning, and why can't I just be patient about his dilly-dallying? WHY, OH WHY, won't ds2 sleep through the night?

Why does every conversation I start with anyone (including this one) end up with a long moan????

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???????

nothing wrong i feel the same

it is hard hard work

noone prepares you

hang in there

Thanks.
I guess I just need to vent a bit.

there are still 8 hours before dh comes home. ds1 won't get dressed. ds2 cries if i put him down.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP

sorry only just checked this

hope things improved tday mine rubbish too if any consolation

NWA4, we managed. 15 minutes till dh comes home, I am watching that clock.
feel a bit more upbeat now.
Thanks for checking in on me!

still here and my day v v hard. hope yours is better today

NWA4,
How are you?
It hasn't been too bad. I have a new lease on life now I have decided to do an evening course. My dh is not too sure about having to get the kids tea and put them to bed one night a week (!!), but I CAN'T WAIT.
Ds2 slept a bit more this week too, that helps.
Hope your week has improved; roll on the weekend!

hi
top idea re the course. good 4 u.
my littlest seems to have stopped crying ALL the time since lunch yesterday which has made SO much difference to me. so perhaps we have both turned a corner???
enjoy the weekend

Well done on the course. I firmly believe a mum has to put herself first. If she is feeling crap and low , then the whole family suffers.

Doing something for yourself will give you a bit of distance and perspective from your family, and will also make them see that you are more than an unpaid skivvy and bottlewasher!

Best of luck with it, I hope it goes really well

Hi Oregonian, only just found this thread. Sorry you are feeling lonely. I hope the course helps. What are you going to be doing?

Your kids are still really little, that person you were before you had them will come back. DS is 4.7 and DD is nearly 3 and when I look back to this time last year they have become so much less work! DH was just away for a whole week and it's the first time I didn't feel lonely in the evenings because DS is now really interesting to chat to as a person (rather than just because he is my wonderful son iyswim)

DS is a nightmare getting dressed but the how to talk problem solving thing has made a lot of difference. I think your DS might still be a bit little for this though. Another thing that has helped is on the days we don't have to go out anywhere just letting him chill in pjs if he wants to. The rule is he has to be dressed by lunchtime. He has started deciding it is time he was dressed himself now! (Too cold/wet to play in the garden in pjs at the moment.)

Do you want to talk about the arguments with DH?

Well, the weekend has been alright so far. We had a lovely day yesterday, went for a nice walk in the countryside, no rows with dh, ds1 only mildly annoying -- he even announced that he was really happy (after he stopped whining that he wanted to go home!) Ds2 is Still Not Sleeping, so that is tough.

NWA4, is your lo teething? How old are yours?

Otherside, your words about giving it time help I know that ds1 has been hard work in some ways but is getting easier in others, so I know in another year or so, I shall be lamenting their baby years! Will go revise HTTSKWL (but some days, nothing works books can't prepare you for the iron will of a 2.6 year old!!).

Thanks for the encouragement, MrsM.

We had a lovely family walk (in the sunshine)too

'How to talk' works much better with DS who is 4 than with DD who is 2.10. Games and distraction work much better with her. And she is stubborn determined too.

teething seems to be easing which is nice. mine are 2.3 and 5 months. life seems much better when the sun is out and dh around (we getting on better now less incessant crying too). glad you both enjoying sunny weekend. is lovely. i am getting used to getting up in the night again for feeds as dd2 approaches 6 months (determined not to wean too early) but at first was a killer when had been getting sleep. do sympathise as lack of sleep is a killer

hey - just read this thread can totally relate. DS is 8 months and love him so much and love being a mum to him but sometimes i just wonder will i ever have a few days to just 'do my own thing'..yesterday i just broke down crying to my dp saying i just need some time alone. He works 7-7 so i am doing everything on my own and when i complain he says 'this is your job now, once you go back to work we will share more of house work, cooking etc..' - it is just so physically draining. Whereever i look around the house i have a list of things that need to be done and i am the one who has to do it. Dp says i moan to much and am negative. I think the crucial thing is to have designated time that is your time - we have decided that on a sunday i am going to go to health club every week for a few hours. Did it today and i felt so much better for it. I recently said to dp that i could do with couple of days away and he got really upset with me asking 'why do you want time away from us - surely you should want to go away with us..!!' arrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i think men find it really difficult to understand what it is like to be a SAHM..

Hi Angel,
Totally relate to your points. it is such an adjustment to make, isn't it?? I used to be a member of a gym, which was wonderful, especially swimming, but had to give it up to fund ds2. Was going to go back when I return to work, but have had to use that money to fund course (so I will have big brains to match my fat arse). The key is exercise (adrenaline helps combat depression, hence the country walks) and time on your own. I just need reminding when it all gets too much.

yep walking is fab...i walk absolutely everywhere with ds, love it..i tell you what is a really good idea if funds are low at moment - just get do the whole ' oh i'm thinking of joining a gym, could i have a free trial day please???'...work your way round all the fab gym / health clubs in your area!!!!

I used to walk loads too when I was at home with them all the time. One long walk most days. DS mastered his bike with stabilisers just at the moment he got too heavy to go in the double buggy so I was always able to go at a decent speed rather than toddler speed.
My kids didn't chat much when we are walking so it was a chance to 'rest' my brain with some uninterrupted adult thoughts.

By the way Angel, don't worry about people coming down so hard about jars on your other thread. Sometimes people don't read the original post, or at least it seems that way.