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My relationship with my dad

5 replies

tammybear · 20/10/2004 23:16

My dad came round just before 10, as my toilet was leaking again so he came to have a look (there's a part that's broken). Afterwards (dd was still up) he was talking to dd and playing with her a little bit, and we were chatting about things like my new car which he kindly brought me. After he left, about 20 minutes, I felt quite sad and upset, and almost in tears.

My parents seperated when I was 7 or 8, and my dad has never really been around. He would take us out a couple of times during the summer, and would buy us what we want etc. The visits came fewer, and I did grow up slightly hating him as he was never around.

But since he and his girlfriend split up (some time this year) he has been in the picture more. He lives in London now, and so he doesn't come up often, usually when he's picking something up from mums, or hes dropping something off. And I know there was a thread somewhere on here saying about wanting to get to know your father more. I wish I could, but it is just a bit too awkward still to be able to have conversations like I would do with my mum. I did really enjoy our chat tonight though, and I think he felt easier as mum wasn't around. He still annoys me in the sense that he cant spell my name right, remember when mine or dd's birthday is (last year he forgot dd's and only knew mine because we were back from holiday) but as he's my dad I do still love him. Sorry, just wanted to share this, as I feel a bit lonely now. Thanks if you have read this xxx

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 20/10/2004 23:18

there's something there Tammybear - don't let it go!

zubb · 20/10/2004 23:21

tammybear, it's never to late to try to build a relationship with him.
Can you and dd go and stay with him for a weekend in London?

miam · 20/10/2004 23:22

Hi there TB. It's good that your dad is in the picture more now, though you are bound to still feel resentful about before. Perhaps you need to speak to him about how you feel - not drag up old grievances but just get things out in the open. Possibly he is feeling the same way, but doesn't know how to approach the subject. Maybe it will take time to open up to him though. It is good though that he is around now for you. Hope you will be ok tonight. xx

tammybear · 20/10/2004 23:23

no, he's not very well off at the moment, surprised he brought me the car, but mum did twist his arm a bit, and my brother has been to where he stays and its not very big. i would like to see him more, but he works at a hospital, so is often on call, which is part of the reason why we hardly saw him much when we were younger too

OP posts:
hatter · 21/10/2004 00:01

Hi Tammybear, not much to add only sympathy. I'm another one with strained relationship with my dad - not bad or overtly fallen out or anyting, just not close like I'd like it to be. I know it's hard but try to see tonight as a positive development. Coming round to help mend your loo is what dads are meant to do. OK deep talks might not be on the cards but that practical every-day stuff counts too. perhaps you can create a few more flaws in your house that you need help with?!

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