I've been very ill.. Lazy children..

[NuttyMother500]

This is my first post so I'm a little nervous. I've recently been very ill and I'm on a slow recovery now. I'm still mentally and physically exhausted.
My issue is that I have two daughters aged 14 and 17. While I've been u well they haven't helped in the house at all. My husband works very long hours and has been amazing at looking after me. But my girls haven't lifted a finger. Today is my first wobbly day out of bed and I can't believe how messy and dirty my house is. I feel I've created my very own lazy monsters. They don't even ask how I'm feeling or if I need anything, a cup of tea would be nice 😔 How can I get them to wake up and see how much I need their help.? I feel very low and I still can't think clearly. So any helpful suggestions would be amazing. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I guess whether you are ill or not, they are see you as the person that should look after them, as they are the children. I have had experience of my dad on his own with my sisters and I at 15 and we were left to fend for ourselves and it was truly awful, I look back now and although we weren't young children, we still needed parenting. However, I am aware your husband is around.
Have you asked them to help out and they've refused?
Some teenagers don't have the insight that others may do. Would you normally do everything for them?
I hope you feel better soon

I think they are old enough to pick up some of the slack and help out. Your husband could sit them down and explain that they need to do a bit more around the house, as it’s everyone’s responsibility to keep it clean.

He needs to explain to them that you’ve been unwell and that everyone needs to help out to get on top of it.

Draw up a list of stuff that needs doing, and ask them which jobs they’d prefer to do/ get them on board with it.

I’m a single parent, and have 2 teenagers. And it’s hard to get them to help at times. Sometimes it’s easier not to deal with having to ask them to help, but they need to learn not to expect someone else to do everything.

But I tell mine that no one wants to do the housework, but we can all do a bit and help out. We tend to do cleaning bursts, where I tell them we are all going to muck in for a bit. If toy all clean together for 30 mins then that’s 2 hours of work done, and the load shared!

I also set myself a timer and do 15 min cleaning bursts when I’m feeling demotivated. And see what I can do in that time.

Another long term single parent to teen DC here-I've always said to mine that we all make the mess so we all clean up-not all naggy but matter-of-fact and if they want less time on chores just put stuff where its meant to be..Its sometimes met with "can i do it later im watching this etc..."&thats fine by me-they need to feel a bit in control hehe. I always let them know how much their helping helps me and that im grateful though..
They've known how to do laundry/dishwasher duties/ basic meals and one especially likes hoovering..the other does the whipper snipper whilst i do lawns the tall one can handle a hedge trimmer which is pretty useful as a short-arse..I wanted mine to be able and confident and view themselves as an important part of a team but tbh you need to start this a lot earlier than 15 years old.
Your two need to learn to pull their weight-I'd simply explain or show them what you've written here or write it down as a letter and hand one each to them (if you're too mentally blown for the full-on convo).Hope you feel lighter and brighter soon xx