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I hope this isn’t offensive to anyone

5 replies

DancingWithWillard · 27/10/2020 19:42

Does anyone else feel like they are in an abusive relationship with depression? If my depression was a person I could press charges for the self harm it has made me inflict on myself, the emotional abuse, the destruction of all my relationships and life lines, and all the other wasted potential this awful thing has caused me.

My parents both had it which caused untold damage in my childhood, and then I developed it around age 16. I feel like I’ve been robbed of my life. My chances of an education, my career, my self esteem. It’s taken everything from me. And now I’m nearly 40 and I don’t know who I am without it. I ask for help over and over but really, it’s not a priority for anyone is it? It’s my fault really, I should just cope, that’s what they really think. Throw a few drugs my way, token 6 sessions of CBT and then they’ve done all they can.

The adverts say tell someone, ask for help, well i have and they can’t do anything! Add to the fact my local surgery has used covid as an excuse to restrict services even more than they already did (no appointments for 9 months now) and an increased workload as so many colleagues are furloughed and I’m on my knees.

I won’t do anything because I have a son, but I’m so sad that I’ve been robbed of my life. All my potential, all my hopes and dreams. Am I alone?

OP posts:
Milknosugarthx · 27/10/2020 21:47

You're not alone. No way!
I am similar but mine is more anxiety. It's left me with crippling low self-esteem, low confidence, I'm working in a menial job earning just enough to scrape by just because I don't have the confidence to pursue my career or to get out of my comfort zone. I have a post graduate degree yet haven't even used it as I feel like I'm too useless to apply for jobs!! It's a vicious circle and I'm also nearly 40 and feel robbed of the life I should have had. It's not that I'm incapable, I just seriously lack the confidence to push myself to achieve. I feel like a failure.

Milknosugarthx · 27/10/2020 21:49

I feel 'safe' in my current situation of just coasting along but frustrated at the same time as I could be doing so much better for myself. I'm embarrassed when people ask why I'm not working in a job related to my degree and I feel like everyone judges me.

DancingWithWillard · 27/10/2020 23:02

Oh Milknosugarthx you worked so hard to achieve a post grad, I’m so upset for you you feel like you can’t use it. In my case I genuinely don’t think I am capable anymore. I’ve been on medication so long my memory is awful (I seriously have very few long term memories and short term it’s touch and go) and I really don’t cope well under pressure for any amount of time so I think decent jobs are beyond my capabilities now. And I’m also just scraping by so that’s another thing to bring me down, there isn’t anything to look forward to or enjoy because I can’t afford anything.
How do you find the is at signposting help? I think I’ve almost reached the end of the road now and am so bloody tempted to ask for electroshock therapy because anything is better than this. I’m so sorry you are going through similar

OP posts:
Vampyhooch · 01/11/2020 09:41

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Thrownaway · 01/11/2020 09:45

www.getselfhelp.co.uk/parrot.htm

I find this analogy helpful for me. It highlighted for me that i was living with a
internal bully who was shouting and critizing everything i did.

It helped me realise that the way i talk to, and about, my self is so very different from how i would talk to others.

I also found the compassionate mind approach helpful

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