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covid led to breakdown

6 replies

molly2312 · 21/10/2020 12:26

Hi, I'm not really sure why I'm writing on here maybe I'm just hoping someone may have any suggestions or may have had the same sort of problems. My husband caught covid-19 in April, he wasn't taken into hospital but did go to the covid hot hub and was told he had a lung infection, he was given antibiotics and sent on his way. My hubby is very fit and strong and he does a very heavy job, when everything was in lockdown and he didn't have to work that was fine, as many people still are he is shattered and still is. One Saturday morning he thought he was having a heart attack, he was upstairs and couldn't shout for help. He didn't tell me this until the next day when it was over and done with. A week later we went to my inlaws after not seeing anyone for ages so we were having food and a drink in the garden, we then headed home as we had pets to look after, I could see my husband was annoyed when we got home, I told him he could have stayed at his parents and told him I would have came back by myself. He flew into a rage and threw his phone and the remote control at me and started shouting and screaming, he said he was going to go outside and kill himself, I rang the police and his parents who came straight round, my hubby was curled up on the floor crying and begging his dad to take him to hospital. So his dad took him to A&E straight away, He wa seen by someone at the hospital who proceeded to send him home, he had told them he wanted to come home and to my utter shock he was back home within a couple of hours. I was given the number for the crisis team and that was it, I never slept a wink and he had a phone call the next day from the crisis team who came out to see him the day after. We eventually saw someone who said he had an 'acute stress reaction' he hadn't slept for 3 days straight and with the heart thing they put it all down to that, he was seen for a couple of weeks, my hubby is a very private person and just wanted them to go away and for him not to have to talk about it. This was a few months ago now, they signed him off so we haven't had anymore contact from them for ages. My worry is that he has totally changed as a person, he is just not the person he was, I feel that he doesn't love me anymore, it's like he just doesn't care about anything anymore, he absolutely refuses to speak to anyone again and insists he is fine. I suppose my question is am I ever going to get my husband back and is there anything anyone recommends I can do. He has always been a none talker but now he comes in from work and just stares at his phone for hours, he doesn't want to talk to me at all, I might aswell not even be here. Would having a breakdown like this change your personality? is my amazing husband going to get any better. I'm sorry this is so long, even if I don't get a reply it was nice to say it out loud. xx

OP posts:
JustMeAndMyTins · 21/10/2020 19:41

Hey OP. I don't know that I have anything useful to say but I didn't want to read and run.

That sounds incredibly hard for you both. Do you think the Covid was what triggered the breakdown or am I misreading things? I'm following the sequence of events but I'm struggling to put them together.

It's totally possible for somebody to recover from a 'breakdown' - and I say that as somebody with my own demons and hard times. It's also totally normal to 'change' personality and behaviour-wise under those circumstances. But to get back on track he will likely need to admit that he needs help.

Are you getting some support from someone? Could you have a chat with his parents?

molly2312 · 22/10/2020 10:55

Hi, sorry if I was confusing in what things came in what order. He had covid and was poorly for about a month, it impacted on his sleep terribly(still does now)he went for 3 days without any sleep at all and then that night after coming back from his parents he just flipped. We were told by the guy he seen that no sleep can send you over the edge but the heart scare was the same weekend and that's why the pysciatrist thought it was all linked, hubby said himself if he had been sleeping he doesn't think it would have happened. I have been reading alot about covid and people are saying it has affected their mental health too.Thaanks for replying x

OP posts:
JustMeAndMyTins · 22/10/2020 16:22

That makes sense. Sounds like a tough time for him - but also, a tough time for you.

I have insomnia and sometimes I feel absolutely unhinged when I have a spell of particularly bad sleep so I can believe that it sent him over the edge.

I think that the reality of it is that he needs to proactively get some help now if the effects are lingering and he still isn't himself. He may well rally by default over time but it's not really fair for you to suffer until that - hopefully - happens.

Might he listen to his parents if they told him to speak to somebody?

Is he trying to help his sleep? Improving it is easier said than done but some things definitely have a positive impact.

vizlsapup · 22/10/2020 21:44

Lung function can affect anxiety. He might have long Covid. Has he been back to the GP? Wonder if spirometry would help.

Also, starting gentle exercise is a good way forward, accepting that he won't be at the same level again yet. If exercising/working he may be doing too much still, so keeping a diary might help.

He could look at Health Unlocked as there are anonymous forums about Lungs. Also speaking to the British Lung Foundation.

Hugs.

annabel85 · 22/10/2020 21:48

Sounds like he's just shut down emotionally. Is he sleeping properly?

molly2312 · 28/10/2020 10:03

Hi, thanks to everyone who replied. He deffo isn't back to full strength but says there is no point in going to the GP as they he's ok. Annabel, he still isn't sleeping properly and he never had a problem with sleep ever before covid. It's like he's had a personality transplant, he would never say boo to a goose beforehand but now is saying anything and everything, even to other people, including at work, it's just hard so but I suppose maybe it's just going to take time. Thanks everyone x

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