I am so stupid! I could kick myself. I fucked my brain up.

[Oodlesofnoodles20]

I’ve been on AD since January. 50mg of sertraline. The last week I felt worse and this weekend barely managed to get out of bed. Spoken to the doctor and have been advised to double up on my medication.
Well, here’s the fucking thing....I have had terrible sciatica for the last two months which no painkillers have touched. My mum has strong painkillers which she gave me two strips of as I was in so much pain. I took two weeks of oromorph and then stopped. So what I thought was a mental health crisis was fucking withdrawals from morphine. I am so angry with myself 1) for taking the medication when it wasn’t prescribed to me
2) for not researching it properly
3) for bringing this massive withdrawal on myself and putting my family through my mental health issues.

I’m not blaming my mum, she has long term back issues and has been on the painkillers a long time so she doesn’t even see the side effects or withdrawals. I’m a grown woman and should know better. On the upside I had two lovely weeks of plenty of energy where I cleaned my house top to bottom

You had energy on oramorph?

I couldn’t get it prescribed after an accident and back injury but I didn’t think it would have that effect.

Anyway, don’t beat yourself. I’m on ADs, have done odd things including taking a sleeping pill instead of a painkiller before work...

@AcornAutumn yes. Must have been a high or something. Well I definitely paid for it the last three days.

I been on oramorph it's a strong pain killer and does have lasting withdrawals I'm also schizoaffective try not to beat yourself up when we are in pain this sort of thing happens.

Thanks @Theodoreb, I was only on them for two weeks so it didn’t even enter my head that they would affect me this way. Won’t be doing it again that’s for sure.