Where to find help.

[AmItooold65]

I’m really struggling at the moment. Feel that general dissatisfaction with life has just got on top of me. I’m struggling to find help. I know that my GP can only offer medications - which I already take. I have contacted 3 therapists since Wednesday and have got nowhere. One has no availability and the other two haven’t got back to me. Feel so rubbish and as if even finding help is an uphill struggle. Where is/are the best places to look for/find help?

Different areas offer different services, but you should be able to self-refer to your local NHS mental health service.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling at the moment - it may be that your meds need a little tweaking or that having someone to talk to would be a good outlet for you. Have you tried any of the telephone support lines? SANE, CALM, Samaritans or Shout which is the text service.

Really hoping you feel better soon - you’re doing all the right things. Make yourself a safe place in your home where you can hunker down and take it easy. And please call 111/999 if you feel unable to keep yourself safe.

There is also a good app to get you through moment to moment - it’s called StayAlive. It has breathing exercises along with other really useful resources.

I can’t link from my phone but if you google Bupa consultation finder you can use that to find a therapist. Good luck.

Sorry to hear you're finding things so hard. I think NHS mental health services are still catching up on backlog from lockdown, PTSD in front line workers, and the increase in MH issues in society generally.

Have you seen this page: www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/
Lots of resources referenced both in public sector and charities.

For private psychology it's a question of looking on BPS for someone accredited then Googling them to see whether it looks like they are a good fit for you, and call them for introduction and to see if you like the sound of them (but don't expect them to get into your deep and meaningfuls in that intro phone call, it's not appropriate)
www.bps.org.uk/public/find-psychologist

I will look at all the suggestions Thank you. I desperately need someone to talk to on a regular basis. Someone who might be able to help ensure that things don’t spiral down even lower. I didn’t think it would be so hard.

Well I have contacted two more therapists - still nothing. One said that she got back to people within 24 hours but I haven’t heard from her. I know I’m being ridiculous because none of these people know me but I feel as if they just know from my contact that I’m not worth helping. I feel rejected and as if I cannot keep trying.

Hi @AmItooold65 just checking back in on this thread to see how you are doing.
Did any of the therapists get back to you yet? Be patient, everyone is up the spout at the moment. The therapists you have left messages with might not be as organised about getting back to you as they would like to be. Try not to take it personally. It's hard because reaching out and asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, and you really need to feel like that's taken seriously by others. But hopefully if you can find the strength to keep trying to reach out to people then you might get somewhere.
Keep going. That hardest part is getting started. Please don't lose momentum, you're doing such a positive thing for yourself by trying to address how you feel. Big hug

Thank you @EndlessWaffle it is very kind of you to check in with me. Still no luck! Have reached out to a few more therapists. One has no availability and another offered an appointment but when I replied to suggest possible times I never heard from her again! I know it is a difficult time for everyone but goodness I feel rubbish. Did not think trying to find some support could be this hard. I have a week off work and it’s the first day of the holiday and I’m already thinking I cannot go back. I desperately need someone to talk things through with but the effort of finding someone is starting to feel too much.

Where are you OP? Depending on location I might be able to suggest a couple who responded when I was looking.

Do you have medical insurance through your job? Sorry I know not all jobs come with this. If you have it phone them immediately and you'll be talking to someone soon

No. Not that I’m aware of. We are supposed to have access to a 24 hour telephone counselling service. I did try to access it a few weeks ago but there was no reply and I didn’t want to leave a message. It would only be short term and I think I need something longer term. Plus I’m not sure how I feel about counselling over the phone - I think that I would need to see someone’s face. Feeling really rubbish today and as if it is all too much. I know I would feel better if I could do something but even small tasks feel like climbing a mountain.

It sounds very unusual and unprofessional that the therapists haven't replied to you. Tbh that would be a red flag for me anyway and I'd want to avoid working with those therapists anyway. Have you thought about what kind of therapy you'd like to have and how much you'd be able to pay? Although a lot of therapists do a sliding scale for payment according to what you are able to pay.

Also have you checked your spam folder. A therapist once hadn't replied to me. I found her email in the spam folder a few days later. Let us know how you get on, I might be able to give you a few more tips if you struggle.

you should be able to self-refer to your local NHS mental health service.

Most people already under MH services are not getting the support they need. Self referral is for talking therapies and the best you'll get there is a phone assessment and we'll see you sometime next year. Sorry, it's pointless trying to get NHS mental health support when it's barely functioning.

I hope you're ok OP. The Samaritans are always there to listen, you don't need to be suicidal to call them.

Thank you Hayeahnobut not doing very well today. I’m due to return to work tomorrow and just don’t know how I will do but cannot afford to be signed off with depression. Although I was doing such a poor job before the holiday that I worry about capability procedures as well. I’ve spent most of the week curled up under a blanket feeling unable to do the simplest thing. I spoke to a therapist at the end of the week and she was supposed to be emailing me further information but as yet nothing. Plus another therapist has got in touch to suggest an initial conversation but I have no idea of her availability. She takes days to respond to any contact so I assume she is very busy. Plus the government announcement yesterday will make things more difficult. I have spoken to the Samaritans before and not found them helpful. It is so difficult to speak to a doctor as well and they can only offer medication. Struggling with suicidal ideation but no actual plans. Oh to go to sleep and not wake up again.

@AmItooold65 I'm so sorry you're struggling that badly. It sounds like you do really need some support. You sound like you're not far off from a point where you'd qualify to be under a crisis team. They vary a lot but some can be very helpful. Or would you consider going to stay at a crisis house for a night or two? There are always volunteers in those places so that you have people to speak to night and day. If these suggestions seem a bit too extreme you could try contacting different therapists. What kind of therapy are you wanting? I know there will be plenty of therapists that are not mega busy and who are responsive. You don't have to go with someone that feels a bit elusive and hard to reach from your first contact. Do you feel like work is good or bad for you at the moment? I'm struggling with depression at the moment as well. Have been wondering about whether I'm still fit to work as I work in mental health. But I love my job and it helps to distract me from my own thoughts so have kept going in. It can be so different for different people though.

@myotherface thank you for taking the time to respond. Work is definitely not helpful at the moment - for a variety of reasons. I would welcome a stay in a crisis house but how does one find such a thing? In the distant past when I was very unwell I knew that help was available if I really needed it. I don’t feel like that now. A couple of years ago I made an attempt to end my life. I spent less than 24 hours in A&E on a drip and I was sent home. Someone phoned me soon after I got home. I was a mess and exhausted from lack of sleep. I was berated for not being out on a walk since the weather was lovely! I have managed to find a therapist to see me next week now but it is so expensive Sorry to hear you are also struggling at the moment.

@Amitoold65 what county are you in?

I am in Buckinghamshire VeggieSausageRoll

@Amitoold65

I am in Buckinghamshire VeggieSausageRoll

Every area has a 24/7 mental health support provision now. They will be best placed to tell you what support is available locally.

Depending on where you are in Bucks...

Oxford health NHS Foundation trust 01865 904997

Central and north west London NHS Foundation trust 0800 023 4650

Berkshire healthcare NHS Foundation trust 0300 365 0300

Maytree in London is meant to be amazing. I just looked and they do telephone support only because of covid. You could try them though? I would think they'd offer a bit more than what samaritans. Mental health services are in such a bad state at the moment. I know how hard it is to access support because I see it at work every day. The community mental health team in my area is bursting at the seams. They can only accept a fraction of people referred to them and are struggling to even see those accepted. I think private therapy is the way to go if you can access it. Also counselling is way cheaper than psychotherapy. IMHO it is just as effective if you find an experienced counsellor that you form a warm bond with.

Could you make a list of things that could potentially help you even if just a tiny bit at the moment. It's really important to try to look after yourself super kindly when you're struggling. I know it can be really hard but it definitely helps a little bit.

I haven’t been able to go to work today. I’ve had no sleep and keep feeling so stressed that it’s as if I’m going to black out. I’m hoping I can speak to a doctor today although I know they can’t do anything. I’m worried that they will want to sign me off and I’ll end up losing my job. I let my line manager know and he hasn’t even acknowledged my message.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you able to do anything to soothe yourself? Anything you normally enjoy? Hopefully your gp will be able to do something to help. Sending hugs.