Don't know what to do.

[Halli2020]

I just don't know what to do. I've always had anxiety and depression but I had it under control with meds. I am in a good relationship with my partner. I had a ectopic pregnancy a week ago and was rushed into surgery at 8 weeks. Ever since then I've been extremely anxious, get short of breath, and sleep a lot. I have had a sick note to stay off of work, my work said I should've told them I was pregnant so that they could get cover eventually, and that it happened at a bad time as they're understaffed. I'm disgusted, I'm a care assistant but there is no care to their colleagues. I just feel so low and don't know what to do. I'm not getting any counselling either, I am on a waiting list which is taken months. I want to leave my job, I hate my role as a care assistant its physically and mentally challenging and the managers don't give a shit about anyone except their selves. Sorry to be such a negative poster. Just needed to vent. I also used to suffer with agoraphobia, and can't feel the anxiety building up again whenever I go outside, I don't want to slip back into that again.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. DM is a care worker, her employer is pretty bad at times. Their comment is out of order and deeply unsympathetic. If you can find the strength to complain I probably would. Hope you can let some stress out

Hello Halli, i give you my deepest sympathy for your loss. I am a diasbled single mum, in my early 40s and unsure how old your are, but, it took me yrs to stand up for myself, but, yes i have a gorgeous daughter, that i have had to bring up on my own and i cannot count how many times i have hit rock bottom. I have no friends or family as thwy hurt my child, which thankfully , does not remember now as i cut all contact. You only have 1 life, live it to the max, and with work, they are not worth it, if you can get the strength, write to head office, or your local Mp, you do not have to face anyone, but turn your pain into anger! How dare they! You are an equal like us all, vent out from your work hand book and write an official complaint. If you feel you cannot return, state that too. You have had enough trauma to deal with. I wish you well.😌

It takes months to recover from an ectopic I’ve been there, I never told my work until it happened as i wasn’t aware I was pregnant at the time, but saying that with my 2nd pregnancy I didn’t tell my work until I was past the 12th week stage, I was almost 20 weeks before telling them, once I had the official form to hand to them, they had no right treating you like that, you don’t need to let an employer know or anyone at that early stage, you need to take care of yourself go get your body a good rest

@beachywalks @Shadow9 @misslml thank you for your lovely replies. It means a lot knowing that I'm not alone during this time. To top it off I am currently working full time 12 hours shifts a day to help pay my rent and bills, my partner does not have a job and is only just claiming universal credit. I feel a lot of pressure on myself. I think I will quit this job, and go somewhere else as I have plans to do professional cookery in January at college and I will be doing an open uni course. I'm going to throw myself into that and focus on healing my body and mind, even though I am in a lot of emotional turmoil. Life goes on. Thank you all again x

Sorry, i meant 2 add, never appologise 4 the way others make u feel, funny 1, just chuckle at those that are and speak to you horrid, only because they are not happy and cant face up to it! Cowards!

I can't believe the attitude of your employer!

I had an ectopic rupture at 8 weeks and had to have an op, I had no idea I was pregnant and it took me months to recover. I got sick pay as I was signed off work.

Is your employer trying to be sued!? I'm not an expert but it doesn't sound like they are fulfilling their duty of care towards you, especially if you are still physically working and not on sick pay.

Just take care of yourself and get better. You don't owe your employer anything if they are treating you so badly.