Should I continue therapy?

[YellowSapphire]

Hi everyone,

I hope people familiar with therapy/counselling can help me. I started therapy a few months ago, after two weird years in which I was possibly perimenopausal and having an obsessive crush on an unavailable man. It came to a point when I was so mixed up and suffering that I started therapy.

The therapist has been really helpful in helping sort out the things that were holding me back - extremely low self-esteem, caring too much what others think, etc, and my confidence has greatly improved.

But now it's got to the point where we delve in things that go back to my past and I cried unexpectedly in one of the sessions when talking about my childhood. I felt raw for the whole day afterwards and I not sure if this is something I want to continue doing. I have a burgeoning artistic career and don't want to destroy it by having all my unconscious 'cleaned up'.

The therapist has very sensible advice but I had no idea he was leading up to this huge explosion of feelings. i just thought therapy was there to talk about practical ways of making my life work better.

What usually happens, then? Are these strong feelings normal and will it make me a happy but flat, 'normal' person?

Thanks...

My experience is that it doesn't make you "flat" emotionally.
It is hard work though and sometimes sessions do get quite emotional and leave you jangled.
Your best bet would be to explain what you have written here to the therapist and ask what he thinks.

I've already asked him at the beginning and I don't think he came out with a straight answer; maybe he said he would help, more than anything.
But what will the result be, then, of dragging up all these feelings? I don't really like the American style, where everyone is in touch with their feelings.
People tend to like me anyway so there's nothing dramatic to improve, it's just that I was uncomfortable with some aspects of my life when it had become too empty. I don't want a major upheaval of my personality. I can't see what the benefit is to have someone in tears in a session and how that will make my life better.

I loathe that theory, that suffering or complexity, makes artists. It doesn't. Creativity and drive makes artists.

Counselling is generally practical and about plans and techniques to respond differently to life

Therapy tends to go deeper, into your childhood, your "shadow" areas. So it depends on what support you are getting as to what to expect.

I think the simple answer is, if it's no longer serving a purpose for you, there's no obligation to keep going because you feel you should. It might be that you want to come back to therapy at some point in the future - which is totally fine - but it is also fine to say you're happy with where you are now.

@HMSSophie That's not what I was talking about, I just think a part of mystery is essential; at least I've always been more comfortable with it, knowing there's stuff I've never told anyone and is mine to use. I'm not too sure if it's a therapist or counsellor I'm seeing. He's actually been incredibly good but I'm just worried as I stumbled into doing these sessions and the result is unexpected.

@mynameiscalypso Thanks! I love the sessions but have no idea how I will end up after them and if I will be altered in a lasting way, which would be scary.

I do think you need to bring your concerns up again with your therapist

I think the point of therapy is to look at your feelings. You examine them, validate them, process them and move on. If you struggle to process them then you need to learn techniques to deal with that in your day to day life. I think if you are uncomfortable being in touch with your own feelings then that in itself is something I'd want to look at in therapy.

Thanks everyone! No negative side effects yet so I might have overreacted. I will keep monitoring how it affects me.

I've been to therapy many years and in fact I'm training to become a Dr in Psychotherapy (still a way ahead). I personally don't line counselling it's usually just a plaster to "make it better" but you don't end up resolving anything. I love my therapist she give some insight that otherwise I wouldn't have and it's not "woolly" either. It's a long term thing though, a few months is nothing.

My analogy for that bit of therapy is its like opening a suitcase that's full of old stuff crammed in any old how. Its overwhelming when the stuff bursts out and feels like it won't go back in. But then you sort through what's burst out, throw some stuff away because you don't need it any more fold up the rest. Then you can shut the suitcase again but this time everything in it is neat and orderly and you know where it is if you need it.
I think the fact you had such a strong reaction is a sign you do need to talk about it in therapy. It will be affecting you, probably not consciously.

I have been having therapy for the past year and like you have had a couple of sessions that have left me in floods of tears and feeling dreadful after discussion about various parts of my childhood. I wasn't expecting to talk about these topics and I certainly wasn't expecting to react like I did or to admit one or 2 things that I did. However after the initial shock of it all, after a few days I felt so much better and I do believe that it did some good. Any form or therapy and counselling is so unique and personal that only you know if you're benefiting from it, I would say give it time and try to be open to whatever topics come up. The reactions we have to some of these memories or experiences usually indicate that they need speaking about. It's usually the areas of my life that I don't want to discuss or remember that are the source of my issues now. Like someone said, therapy explores the shadows and professionals help to tease relevant things out of them, it's not always comfortable but if we could do it by ourselves then perhaps we wouldn't need help. Best of luck to you, follow your instinct on this one

@Fressia123 can I ask what kind of therapy you’re having? I feel like everything I’ve had has been pretty lightweight.

She used a Jungian approach. Working with both the conscious and the unconscious.

I've also had more psychoanalytical type and although it did work it left more questions than answers. I've had CBT /mindfulness and neither of them really worked for me.

I think you could do with exploring your assumption that our subconscious minds are so easily explored and 'wrapped up'. This hasn't been my experience at all, it has been an unexpected shit show, as I suspect it is for most people in longer term therapy. What's at the end? Who knows, but I think once you start to open/unravel you are kind of drawn to continuing. Or you shut down and leave for a later date. None of your 'stuff' is going anywhere and it can wait.