Anxiety at 47

[bizzy1234]

I'm 47 and relatively healthy (slightly in the chubby side!) happily married with 2 gorgeous kids...
But I feel anxious so often.. I've never felt like this until the last year..
It started when my daughter moved school due to horrendous bullying from her previous school... she moved to a 6th form college mid term and although happy now she is struggling with her education which hasn't been great..
she is applying to universities but worried she won't get in so talks to me all the time about her worries... which I would never ever want her to feel she can't off load on me.
She is having therapy now finally from the bullying but I have been a sponge and every time she has a problem I can feel a sense of panic... I hide it from my family but I don't sleep well and often struggle to catch my breath... do you think I'm menopausal as I hear anxiety is a symptom or just need time for my daughter to heal from bullying and life to settle down again..
Does anyone else my age suffer from anxiety that has never had it before or been through your child being bullied and how did that affect you??
Thank you

Sounds like possibly perimenopause

Anxiety and a disordered mood is often a sign of perimenopause and these symptoms can appear way before any of the more obvious physical ones like hot flushes.

I developed anxiety over things things that had never bothered me before like driving to a new place I’d never been to.

Have a look at the Nice Guidelines for menopause November 2015.

It may be situational and it maybe exacerbated by fluctuating hormones. Have you had a chance to talk about your feelings around the bullying? I’d maybe started with some counselling first and see how you feel afterwards.

Sorry youve gone through this.

My DS went through a horrific time with bullying and my anxiety is notably increased since. I think part of it is the lack of control over their happiness, which is so important to us. It’s like I’m hyper vigilant for anything upsetting him again even though the new school has done wonders for him and his self esteem. I’m not saying it can’t have a medical component too, but forgive yourself for being worried about a situation which upset you so much.

I think also when you say you are like a sponge, a sponge can only hold so much water before it starts over spilling.

A technique that might help you when you’re listening to your DD is to imagine some kind of barrier between you and her. Like a clear screen or a shield and imagine her words sort of bouncing off it and you behind the shield. Probably a mangled explanation! You could also try setting a timer/specific times. Another technique that can be useful is to ask what’s the worst thing about today? best thing about today?

Some things that have helped me at times with sleep and are non medical - magnesium supplements about 30 minutes before bed, Epsom salts bath )magnesium again), Kalms. With the Kalms I take 3 normal Kalms not the night ones. The latter was suggested to me by a pharmacist as an alternative to sleeping tablets that left me dazed and confused.

Thank you all for your kind comments and advice..
I agree and think you are right I am most likely peri menopausal but I think my heightened anxiety is from being the sponge ... and as you say Deux ... a sponge can only hold so much.
I will try your sleeping help suggestions. Maybe a good nights sleep will help!
Having a child that is being bullied is horrendous and as my friend once told me .... you are only ever as happy as your unhappiest child!!

I hope your DS BrIll1ant is now ok?
Thank you all