Psychiatrist refusing to see me

[rainbowninja]

I've messed up today.

In the midst of a crisis I referred myself both via NHS and privately for a psychiatrist assessment. My main aim to be to look at medication as I've got other support in place but been on the same meds for some years.

Got a private appt next Tuesday with a psychiatrist who seemed to have a great reputation and who specialises in my area.

Anyway yesterday I had a freak out and called the emergency services, I was never really at risk but clearly very anxious.

This morning I emailed the psychiatrist via LinkedIn (not appropriate but no other direct way to contact him) to see if I could get to see him any sooner.

The next thing I know his secretary rings me to cancel the appt saying the service isn't for people in crisis and directing me to local services. I explained that I am in contact with services but wait times are longer and I wanted to get something sorted as quickly as poss. She has now offered me an appt with a different psychiatrist in November.

So basically unless the NHS comes up trumps sooner Ill now have to wait longer because I tried to speed things up. I get that it wasn't appropriate to contact him on linked in but is it ok for him to just say he won't see me now? There's no alternative any quicker. I'm at a loss. It's made a crappy time even worse.

Ahh the stalky element isn't on. That will be why you have been referred onto someone else.

If you really feel like you're on the brink of being in trouble, call Samaritans to help you talk over that initial fear.

You sound fairly reasonable, you know what you did is wrong. You're more capable than you give yourself credit for.

@TrollTheRespawnJeremy yeah it was a bit stalky wasn't it? 😬

I've apologised and it's not as if I was abusive, just sounded like an anxious person which is why I need the help?!

Yeah, you know yourself. Made a bit of an arse of it. You know better for next time.

With the trade trade that Psychiatrists are in they have to draw a very clear line between what is acceptable and what isn't. You can imagine how it would go if they didn't.

In any case, you sound like you've figured things out to an extent. Having to wait longer for the new Psychiatrist is an absolute pain, but is a great opportunity for you to be reflective- as you are right now.

Have you got any friends or family that you can share what you're going through with?

Yeah it was the wrong move so I've learnt my lesson and of course psychiatrists have to be very strict about boundaries. I guess I feel like the boundary could have been set without the offer of a service actually being removed though 🤷‍♀️

Can share with family and friends although not entirely comfortable with admitting quite what a pillock I've been 😕

One of the few benefits of independent practice is that you can decline referrals.

I recently declined a referral for a lady I knew 13 years ago. She caused me quite some difficulty in a previous job, she made an enquiry to our independent practice, I have declined to see her.

As others have said, it’s done now, you can be referred to a colleague thoogh.

Ahh I'd probably leave this one out for family/friends. Just say you've been referred to another person and there's a hold up if they ask why the long wait.

The boundary thing is just an automatic nope. It's probably been a good wake up call for you though as you sound like you've really taken it on board and that's great. Remember how objective you can be with things - especially if you feel your anxiety ramping up.

If you do feel like telling someone how big your struggles feel at times it's a great illustration of the desperation that you felt in the moment. You can gauge how much you want to share.

It's a shite thing to deal with, try and get some exercise- knacker yourself out. You can't catastrophise if you're asleep!

Can you find another private one?
Lots are doing remote consultations because of Covid, so you don't have to be limited by your location.

I'm not sure it is so much about the email - I'd have gone through the clinic/official email but whatever - but private psychiatrists will have their own level of risk tolerance that they're prepared to take. They don't have the NHS infrastructure (such as it is) to deal with crises generally because they're not available 24/7. My psychiatrist is very clear that, in private practice, there are patients that he won't see (and conditions he won't treat) because he cannot offer the level of support that they need and it would be unethical to do so (plus, frankly, they'd have to involve the NHS if they felt someone needed sectioning and refer them on). I think this is particularly in relation to new patients where there is no history and it's much more difficult to make a risk assessment. Ultimately, it's nothing that you've done but I think it's most likely that the psychiatrist you have booked with has made the decision not to treat people in crisis.

Thanks all, I obviously need to reserve my
catastrophising for a different audience and just let this one go, the harder I try to plead my case the worse I seem to make it for myself.

I'm trying to arrange something else privately now with The Priory, they seem quite responsive but I won't be contacting any of their consultants directly 🙈

Hope todays a better day for you OP!

I hope you're feeling better OP.

I would get in touch with the NHS service, tell them you were in crisis and required emergency services recently and see if they can see you sooner?

Do you have an appointment with the NHS service? It is hard to be under both private and NHS care and if there is an element of crisis or risk the private service may not want to see you, as above.

The priory should be able to help you quickly. Good luck OP.

I've requested a referral today to the community mental health team via my GP and that can take up to 28 days. I've also made enquiries with the priory.

I've requested a refund from the other service and asked to make a complaint. Their website is full of promises about the speedy service they can offer for people who are disillusioned with the NHS because of the shortage of the consultants and feedback from patients saying how the service helped 'in an emergency'. They may well be within their rights to deny me the appointment but they need to be a bit clearer about what they do offer.

Oh god, am I turning into a Karen 😱

Hahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha! It sounds like you've had a very proactive day. If being a Karen keeps you going then who am I to judge

Sounds fairly positive OP. Keep it up.

🤣🤣 thanks for sharing my sense of humour, yes I've been in full on Karen mode but it's been a welcome distraction!

Just steer clear of the hairdressers until you've got Karen mode out of your system!

Karen?! Do you think you're being witty and funny using misogynistic terms like that? Oh tee bloody hee

I think it’s a bit harsh to make a complaint to be honest. You contacted him via a means that is actually personal, rather than trying his office to speed up an appointment. Understandably that was a line crossed. Perhaps if you had gone via his office they might have been able to speed up the appointment. I’m not sure complaining about someone drawing a reasonable boundary is a good thing to do. I do hope you find someone to see you soon though.

That’s a bit harsh Titiana, for someone in a crisis. Where is your compassion?

@TitianaTitsling sorry if you're offended, just used the term to mean that I've been standing up for myself but didn't mean to contribute to a negative stereotype

LinkedIn is for business purposes not personal. Op didn't message him on Facebook. If that is the/part of the issue I'd imagine it to be more about content and timing of the messaging than the medium.

If you messaged him out of hours talking about suicide etc etc that would be crossing a boundary - NHS teams would have the same rule that you don't message about feeling suicidal to email addresses or out of hours, you use emergency/ooh services.

private psychiatrists will have their own level of risk tolerance that they're prepared to take

That said, it does sound more like a risk management issue than punishing you for messaging (depending on what the message was). Private mental health services tend to steer clear of anything they deem "high risk".

Although I do actually agree it is a bit misleading to suggest they will involve themselves in an emergency if the reality is that they veto higher risk patients.

@audweb I did speak to his office and they told me to add a case note to the system indicating an earlier appt might be a possibility if he saw the note but I could see it was unread 🤷‍♀️

I'm not complaining about him personally and not looking for anyone to get in trouble, I just believe that it could have been dealt with more sensitively and if me saying that doesn't help me then it might help someone else in the future

@user128472578267 my message to him didn't say anything about suicide, my presenting issue is anxiety. I did tell him the emergency services had been involved and I realise it was a red flag.

I just wish his office had bothered to get the details of the situation which was that in a panic I phoned 999. When panic disorder gets really bad you can literally feel stuck and not know where to put yourself. The police were great, they said they normally have a mental health triage nurse with them but unfortunately she wasn't there that day. Anyway after taking a tablet which I had with me anyway I was able to go home and got on with what I thought were the right actions to make sure I got seen sooner rather than later.

But instead of asking me to elaborate they just cancelled the appt.