Quick backstory: we were very close friends in our 20s living in London (flat mates for a while), now ‘grown up’ and ‘settled down’ and not living close unfortunately. A precious friend and one I would like to have forever and ever.
I know she suffers from anxiety and depression. We’ve seen each other every 1-2 years since London days. Factoring in husbands and jobs and kids and travel time I think that’s reasonable.
So the question, for the past year or so I’ve initiated all contact and been the last one to email/message. I’ve felt anxious about this, my self-doubt fairy telling me that she’s got more interesting things to do and more exciting people to contact. But then when that passes I think it can’t be right, we’d always been tight and there’s no reason to think she just doesn’t like me anymore. More likely this is related to her struggle with mental health.
But what do I do, I’ve always offered to talk, to be there. I want to support her but is that to give up any reciprocal support? Our last interaction was:
Me: hey how are you?
Her: fine thanks, so bored of lockdown! How are you?
Me: yes bored too! And we found out yesterday that my dog is ill and will probably need to be put down
No reply.
I’m not sure what my question is, maybe - is this just how it is And for me to keep persisting? Is it a one way thing in terms of support of one another? Or does lack of contact and no apparent interest in a dark time in my life mean she doesn’t value our friendship / doesn’t want to be friends?