Should I have therapy?

[Theodoreb]

I have bipolar 1 I was stuck in a episode and couldn't care for my DC. so gave them up to their dad.

I became involved in a extremely abusive relationship which went as far as sexual abuse severe enough to require hospital treatment I became a iv amphetamine addict and was often forced to sell my body.

I saw people friends die from overdoses. After 18months of living a bad addicts life and i was even homeless resulting in me learning and being unable to sleep unless I'm wearing a hat to hide my hair and and hoodie to cover the fact I'm female as it was said to be less safe being a homeless female.

My psychiatrist wants me to have therapy but I don't really feel like it may be needed. I have my dc back now and I'm frightened that opening old wounds will make me unwell. But my psychiatrist feels my refusal to let anyone I don't know well touch even my hand when handing them a item, my refusal to get a boyfriend my constant paranoia that something will happen outside of my control meaning I'll lose my kids.

My fears of meeting new people, my refusal to let anyone I don't know near my dc. My psychiatrist feels I am suffering from severe ptsd as a result of all this and that I need some therapy. But I'm frightened it will make me unwell and I won't be fit to care for my dc WWYD? and do you think I have ptsd?

I don’t know but you’ve been through a hell of a time. How are you feeling in yourself day to day?

I'm not a therapist or a psychiatrist but what I will say is that I believe that everyone could do with a little therapy at some point in their life, because everyone has tough times, and this is one of yours.

I feel fine day to day sure I'm a little guarded with people and I have my quirks but I'm happy I just get paranoid that social services will take my dc even though they don't even have a social worker I was discharged over a year ago but other than that I feel happy and blessed to have been given a second chance at life.

Are you experiencing any other symptoms of PTSD (feeling guarded and jumpy is one) - things like flashbacks, nightmares, physical symptoms of anxiety? Problems with sleep? Avoiding talking about or seeing events or things that might trigger memories of the events?

I guess most importantly, do you feel that what happened to you (which sounds very bloody traumatic and hard) is affecting your life negatively? Are there things it's stopping you doing, or ways it's preventing you living your life in the most full way you would want? If yes then it's worth exploring the option of therapy.

You sound like you have huge strength to have pulled yourself through all that, and now have your children back. I think that your concern that therapy might de-stabilize you should be listened to. I’ve had therapy and I had to stop. I was having psychodynamic therapy. Is this what your doctor is suggesting? I think that if you see a psychologist they usually focus more on skills for managing your emotions and it is much less destabilizing, and you don’t even have to talk much about what you’ve experienced.

Yes I experience symptoms of ptsd but it still doesn't change the fact that I am going to get worse if I do therapy and I hold it together not sure I can actually cope with therapy not sure what kind they want to give me I know they tried for dart therapy and new pathways therapy but I just walked out of both as I just couldn't do it.

I can't generalise for everywhere, but the NHS team where I work that would do therapy for PTSD (they do a few different types) would first look at teaching and developing strategies for dealing or coping with the stress that therapy in itself can create. That might be the process where you are too. Of course making sure you are in the right 'place' for therapy is a consideration, that you are feeling somewhat stable in your wider environment, that you're not using substances or other potentially dangerous coping mechanisms, that you have a support network etc.

I understand your fear, that it will cause more harm than good. Really only you know if it's right for you right now, but it might be ok to do a bit more tentative exploring of the option. You might find that reassuring or at least it could help you make a decision. Is it possible to accept the referral and go through the assessment, it would give you an option to ask these questions and get some more information, without committing to anything?