I really struggle with my mental health. I’ve been depressed and anxious my whole life. I’ve lived with it but I am dysfunctional. I work then have a mental break down for months. I can’t drive and I live at home . All my relationships are abusive . I have suicidal thoughts that have got increasingly bad . I’ve been prescribed 10mg citralorpram. I refer myself for counselling but I’ve never able to be honest with them and if I am they say I’ve for too many problems for them to help( as the services only deal with mild to moderate ). I don’t think I’ve got much to live for here . I’m 30 and my life is no where near how I planned . I had a difficult childhood where I was neglected emotionally .
I’m tired of life now. On the surface I can work really hard , appear ‘normal’, help others out and seem bubbly . Only me and my family know my ‘truth’.
I’m tortured with negative thoughts over the rejections I have suffered in life . Because of the gaps in my cv people call my ‘irresponsible ‘ and give me funny looks .
Can anyone offer any advice to me ?