Emetophobia getting me down

[Hurryupbaby11]

I hope this is the right thread to post this.

I've suffered with emetophobia for as long as I can remember. I now have 2 DC and find my phobia is now worse when it comes to them being sick.

DS has started school recently after 6 months at home with us in lockdown. It's really made my emetophobia spike as I'm constantly scared he's going to pick up a bug from school. He's had a few restless nights recently and I've panicked he's got a bug and will be sick.

I'm finding I'm worrying about it and it's on my mind almost all the time at the moment and it's really affecting me. DS2 is only a baby but worry for when he starts nursery and I have double the risk of one catching a bug. I sometimes even wish for a second lockdown so I don't have the worry of school which is totally ridiculous.

Not sure how to out of this cycle. I've tried counselling before but it didn't seem to help much - they focussed on what had started my phobia and I just can't remember so felt like I was failing and it couldn't be fixed until I remembered.

How do I learn to deal with this?

I used to have terrible meets phobia but got some great cognitive behavioural therapy and I am so much better. When I’ve very stressed it starts to rear it’s head again and I’ve twice gone for short top up CBT sessions to stop it getting worse. On the whole it’s not a big factor in my life anymore which is extraordinary and lot something I could have believed when it was as it’s worst.

Your therapist doesn’t sound good. Emetaphobia doesn’t tend to be a phobia with a specific trigger event. Try and find a good CBT therapist and be prepared to really work on it and challenge yourself. It’s worth it I promise.

Sorry my autocorrect is mad. The first line should say “emetaphobia” not “meets phobia”

Our local IAPT service used to offer graded exposure therapy, part of CBT, for vomit phobia. You can self refer but ask for that specifically, not counselling. Or I suppose you could look for a private CBT therapist.

I can’t handle anyone being sick, although somehow it disappears when it’s my children, it seems to turn off and I can deal with it no problem.

My first thought if they have a sickness bug is ‘ffs were going to be knackered tomorrow as it’s always through the night’. I can clean it up no problem and it doesn’t bother me at all.

See if anyone else was sick in my house, I’d be shaking! I can’t stand it. Probably not DH to be fair but anyone else eughhh

What I’m saying is, I wonder if you’d actually be able to deal with it if it did happen to your DC? Better than what you thought?

I'll Google CBT around me to see if I can find anything. Or is it best to start with my doctor and get a referral?

@TableFlowerss it's interesting in how it presents itself isn't it - I'm not so bad when it's me anymore (although still not great) but focus has definitely shifted onto my DC. Unfortunately DS was sick last year and I was alone with him - I hated it and thinking back to it makes me cry. I've made all sorts of associations with that night that I find trigger my anxiety now. Although I did manage to clean up when DH got home and he took over with DC.

I've figured out I'm particularly scared of the unexpectedness and contagiousness (is that a word?!) of it. Babies bringing up milk or morning sickness in pregnancy doesn't really bother me as I know to expect it and it's not contagious. When DS was sick it was out of the blue after being fine all day and all over our bed which really traumatised me for some reason.

It's never been this all consuming before and I'm so worried it's going to get on top of me and start to affect my life.

I've become very conscious of what I eat and any signs someone around me might be ill. It goes hand in hand but I'm pretty germphobic in general and wash my hands excessively. Coronavirus has made that even worse.

It sounds stupid but I fear the clean up process and shed loads of washing it would create and the battle to make everything feel clean again, all while worrying everyone else in the house will get it next.

Sorry, big offload there.

I was just the same OP. For me it was part of PND but it was just the next worry in a long line of them. In all honesty, after 3 courses of antidepressants over say seven years or so I am much better, probably still more anxious than most but nothing like how I was before.
I'm not sure what I'm trying to say except that it will get better OP.

Put in a self referral to your local IAPT and ask specifically for graded exposure therapy. If you have a child under two years you may be prioritised but that might only be available for depression. I don’t think a GP would know about this specifically.

Thanks so much @pattam. I'd never heard of IAPT but just looked it up and submitted the self referral form. Just having that little bit of hope that there might be a way to make this better really helps. Thank you.

You’re welcome. Let me know how you get on, if IAPT can’t help, I’m sure someone can xx

Just revisiting this thread to say a big thank you to @pattam. I took your advice and self referred to my local IAPT and have now been assigned a therapist who has been discussing some different treatments, including CBT with me. It's early days still but it feels good to be doing something to help myself and I hope things improve over time.

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply and make me aware of this service - I wouldn't have found it otherwise

That’s fab! I’m so pleased for you. Thank you for the update too xx