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Mental health

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i'm really struggling

5 replies

pattam · 04/10/2020 14:46

I don't know who else to talk to...

I've been divorced for around five years; I have two children who spend time with both their Dad and me. For almost all of that time, I have had a physical health problem with my lady parts which has generally left me unable/too embarrassed to have sex. It's taken a lot of my confidence and left me painfully lonely. And I'm still quite young.

I'm so sad and so lonely. I think daily about the impact on my children and how unfair it is on them to live with such a sad Mum. I get so upset and so angry. I have tried so hard to focus on myself, meet friends, take up hobbies, keep working, keep fit, and start new relationships but it's hard as an adult and it's hard when so self-conscious of my 'problem'. No therapy/antidepressants are going to solve that and I feel like I'm running out of options. I think about dying daily, and sometimes when I'm really bad, I wish for things like car accidents to take me so my children don't have to grow up knowing I chose to leave them.

OP posts:
TheQueensCousin · 04/10/2020 14:51

Oh my goodness you poor thing. Having a physical illness/condition can make you feel so very low and vulnerable. When you're dealing with a poor physical health the last thing you want to do is meet new people/ go out. You are your DC whole life, please remember that. Are you getting sufficient support from your GP? Sending you lots of love 💐

pattam · 04/10/2020 18:04

The consultant has operated a couple of times but it hasn’t fixed the problem. I don’t think they can :(

OP posts:
Mouscadoo · 04/10/2020 19:56

I'm so sorry @pattam you're having such a hard time. That sounds really horrible. Do you talk to any of your family about how you're feeling? Didn't want to just read this and not comment as having those kinds of thoughts is very frightening and upsetting.

pattam · 04/10/2020 20:02

Hi, no my family are the ‘grin and bear it’ type, they would probably tell me to not be so stupid if I told them I was struggling. They don’t know about my physical health either, no one knows.

OP posts:
Jamhandprints · 04/10/2020 20:13

Sounds terrible op. Are you in a support group with others who have the same physical issue? There is probably a facebook group or something.
Well done for doing what you can to meet people and have fun. I know its hard but keep going.

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