Does this sound like OCD?

[ocdmaybe]

I have been suffering with what I thought was anxiety for several years now, but recently I have read a few resources about OCD that resonate with me and I am trying to work out whether I could have OCD. All of my thoughts are quite small and subtle on their own, but it is the overall picture. I just got a shower and ready for bed and I was observing my thoughts and this is what I can recall happening:

Showering

• want to check and recheck my moles, feel panicky like I need to check them even though I check them literally everyday, then panic after I check them
• feel what I think is maybe a lump and panic, turns out it isn't a lump
• feel a weird pain for a split second in chest, worry it's my heart or that I should feel in case there's a lump
• listening to music, have to skip the song as the singer has cancer
• after my shower I have to be constantly aware of what I have touched to make sure I do things in a particular order of clean-> dirty. e.g. the first thing I do is get into clean PJs, then put my face wash, shampoo, conditioner away, then I put my towel away, then my dirty laundry, then I have to wash my hands. If I do anything in the wrong order I have to wash my hands, e.g. if I put my dirty laundry into the hamper I have to wash my hands before I touch my face wash as my laundry could have germs on which go onto my hands and then I pass them onto my face wash so next time I wash my face those germs go onto my hands. I know logically all of that is over-the-top but the thought process behind it happens so rapidly I don't realise how silly the justification for the behaviour is whilst I am doing the behaviour. I do this with everything I do, like when I am about to eat a meal I have to put all the salt and condiments on first, then open the cutlery drawer, then wash my hands and then I can get my knife and fork and eat.

Doing skincare

• looking at the moles/freckles on my face, I feel like I could flinch when I do this as I am so on edge that I am going to spot something dodgy
• notice a hair looks gray, am I going gray in my 20s? panic and check, nope it's just the way the light is shining on it (no idea why aging makes me so nervous).

I feel embarrassed writing all of that out, I even feel embarrassed admitting to myself that that is what goes on. The thoughts are so rapid I don't realise at the time why I am doing something a certain way, all I know is I feel anxious a lot of the time and tend to ruminate on things.

A mixture of health anxiety and OCD maybe?

I do have diagnosed OCD and if I touch something I also have to rewash my hands as you describe about touching dirty laundry & then needing to wash your hands before washing your face. This the thought process behind it happens so rapidly I don't realise how silly the justification for the behaviour is whilst I am doing the behaviour definitely sums up my OCD behaviour too.
I don’t worry about moles etc but yes, every palpitation means something sinister (prob just my anxiety) every lump could be cancer, I scrutinise every blood test result etc. I do have very real ongoing health issues but now have health anxiety over every little thing.

Don’t be embarrassed, it is worth having a chat to a Dr as, when my general anxiety is under control, a lot of the above diminishes and is almost nonexistent. Mine has just ramped up again recently with all the worry/stress of Covid. It has been well under control for years before the pandemic.
A Dr will have heard it all before and will be able to support you and signpost you to some help

The two often go hand in hand - people with anxiety quite often put in their own rituals as a way to keep the anxiety at bay and it’s all too easy for that to tip over the edge.

Thank you both for your replies. I think I have been focusing too much on trying to label the behaviour rather than thinking of how I can stop it. I have done some research into OCD and I have been trying to stop some of the compulsive behaviours (mainly the excessive hand washing) and my mood has lifted a lot even from just subtle changes.