No point

[CopperBoomCopperBoom]

Post was lost...
Sums it up really.
What's the point . That's what repeats in my head day after day

Spent twenty minutes in the toilets at work today crying and trying to make it loook like I hadn't been. Then couldn't stop the tears coming at my desk, wiping them away so no one saw. Couldn't eat. Couldn't face my public facing job. This isn't me but I've become a wreck the last few weeks. I can't put my finger on it. I need control over my emotions. Went to make a drink and almost hurled my cup across the room I felt so angry. Then cried some more.
Feel like I've lost it.
And I feel like I can't get back.
And when I have broken down in front of a few people they are nice and say nice things but they're lying, using me probably to look good themselves? Or trick me. And then it all hurts all over again too much. I can't stand it.

At least this feels like everyday
Talking to myself
Wondering why I haven't ended it
Why haven't I

So sorry that you are feeling like this OP, it sounds awful. Have you been feeling like this for long, and have you spoken to your GP about it? Sending my thoughts and although I have no personal experience to offer up, didn't want tor read and run.

Hi OP,

We're so sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

This is just to say that you can contact the Samaritans, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123. We also have resources in our Mental Health webguide

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ.