16 year old in hospital

[Sexnotgender]

Just need someone to talk to.

16 year old daughter being assessed in hospital. Struggled with her mental health for a while now. I’ve been paying privately for a psychologist as the waiting list is massive for NHS.

Her mental health has deteriorated through lockdown and the absolute shitshow of exam results which means she doesn’t have a chance in hell of doing what she wants at university.

I’m so scared for her.

I'm sorry. 15 years ago my son stabbed himself and was hospitalised, not sectioned but not far off. It was a tough year. He's fine, married, doing well. It's not always the end of the world.

Thank you. I feel so lost.

I’m sorry to hear this OP. Hopefully your DD will get the help, support and care that she needs to turn a corner. This year has been so hard for our youngsters. But there is hope and even if exam results haven’t gone her way this year she needs to know that if she wants to work in a particular field there are still ways of doing it. Good luck. Things change so quickly with teenagers, storms do blow over.

You're not alone.

Keep talking.

Plus know. This isn't your fault.

The world can be a harsh place to grow up in xx

Thank you both. I know she’s in the right place, hoping she gets the help she needs.

It's so hard - as we still think of them as our babies - and not being able to take their pain away is almost unbearable isn't it.

I'm thinking of you both. Xx

So sorry to hear about your DD. I can promise you both that it can get better. Have you had any updates on how she is doing?

If it helps, I struggled a lot with my mental health as a teenager: anorexia mixed with depression and anxiety. I was very academic and wanted to study medicine. I had a HUGE panic attack during my UKCAT exam and failed to get any offers. Alongside not as great as predicted A levels I was rejected from everywhere and started a science course instead. It was a really tough time. I was under a psych team and had CBT, counselling and various medications to combat my suicidal thoughts and restrictive /obsessive eating habits. Eventually I ended up with a 2:1 and now I'm half way through my medical studies! I still have off days, but I'm more aware of how to balance things and keep my mental wellbeing as top priority. Being a teenager is awful sometimes, I really feel for your DD.

I hope your studies go well tortoise, DD was planning to study medicine too and sat her UKCAT today. She had a total breakdown and lost it.

I had a weird feeling it might be medicine that your daughter was going for. It's really very harsh for young people to have so much pressure put on them to get into medicine. After my first degree I travelled around the world for a little bit before applying again for medicine. I'm 26 now. I hands down think I'm in a much better position now than I ever could have been as an 17/18 year old. Studying what she has her heart set on is always possible further down the line, the most important thing right now is for her to get better and learn ways to cope with her mental health.

Some may disagree, but I feel that my experiences with my own mental health will help me to become a better doctor to my patients and the same will be true for your daughter too.

You sound like an incredibly supportive parent, your daughter is lucky to have you supporting her.

Always happy to answer any questions re. med school and my path to it if you want to PM me.

*sorry not pressure from you, pressure in the form of all the exams!

Sending very best wishes

Thank you tortoise, very kind words.

I’ve tried to explain that she can go later into medicine this isn’t her only shot but it’s falling on deaf ears.

She’s got significant physical health issues and would be a better doctor as she knows how a patient would feel. She’s on 25+ surgeries. Her psychologist thinks she has PTSD as a result.

Oh bless her, it sounds as though she’s had an incredibly tough time. Sending you both strength and very best wishes.

She has had a very tough time. The hand she’s dealt has been very unfair.

That sounds incredibly tough for her, I'm sorry! I'm not surprised it's all been hard on her especially on top of the year we've all had!

She's clearly very bright and it's so hard when you watch your peers going off to Uni and pursuing exciting things. It feels like all the potential you had is gone forever.

Keep being there for her, keep talking to her. Having that communication and parental support as a young adult is invaluable, especially when you're having a hard time.

Any news overnight?

No news overnight. Got a visiting slot at 3 today. Hoping to speak to a doctor.

No real news. Because she was admitted over the weekend no care plan is in place. Should know more tomorrow. She seems in good spirits though.

Hope you’re OK today OP and your DD is being well looked after.

Finally got to speak to a doctor this evening. He has diagnosed depression and they are starting her on antidepressants and hopefully discharging her tomorrow into community care.

That's progress.

Hang in there. The future is brighter.

Got her home. She’s exhausted and has gone to bed.

That’s good, slow little steps to a brighter future, one day at a time.

How are things?

Hi @Sexnotgender how are you both doing? Is your daughter getting along with the antidepressants? Is she back at sixth form/college now or taking some recovery time out? Wishing you both the best