Mumsnet can be a brutal place

[SheilaWilcox]

I normally have a quick surf of Mumsnet before I go to sleep. Normally find something to make me smile, or feel I have some relevant experience to offer someone.
I try to keep 'be kind' in mind if I post and never mean to offend. I'm not a 'keyboard warrior' and how I reply is how I would speak to someone in real life.

I've name changed, so you can't see the sort of thing I post I'm afraid.

The thing is, when I post, I get jumped on. Told I'm being ignorant, or people post ignore 'X' she's being a dick etc. It's happened a lot.

Makes me really doubt myself as like I said, I don't see anything wrong with what I've written. I don't expect people to agree with me, but I obviously come across really badly. It can't always be the other person, so it must be me.

I don't like myself very much at the best of times, but this is making me really hate myself.

It's not you! Happens to me all the time. Honestly try and write super nice things this week, and watch every one be turned into someone thinks your insulting them. If it bothers you you need to delete online anything. Being nice to people in real life is so much more rewarding. People online are cruel and you will never win.

Thank you.

I name changed as I was starting to think people just see my name and pile on!

I can't give up all social media as it is a vital part of my job, but I think you're right, I need to be more choosey.

I wouldn’t even worry about it. Sometimes people post online and forget there’s a real person at the other side. I always think most of those people are probably quite sad/powerless in their real life and that’s why they’re so desperate to dig into someone online.

Anyone who puts something like ‘ignore x’ drops immediately in my estimations. Why do they think they get to decide which opinions the OP should listen to and which they shouldn’t?

Thanks Kanaloa.

I was thinking the same thing recently! I'm fairly new to Mumsnet and don't really post that much, I like to lurk mostly! But I find it weird how a thread can start of fun and light to then be hijacked by a bunch of hyenas. It seems like one or two ill comments motivate others to be mean. I don't post sometimes because my opinion seems to be contrary to what everyone else thinks but I like to read them. I try to post as if I was speaking to someone face to face, the same doesn't seem to apply to everyone.

Such a shame @daisychain1620 because surely people post because they want to read alternative opinions to their own.

I've been on Mumsnet over 10yrs now.

I've been worrying that maybe I offend people in real life as much as I do on here but they're too polite to say anything.

100 % agree - I find people here really expect the worst from other people and will "find" something wrong with whatever is written sometimes.
Theres a lot of ambiguous posts where the poster is describing a friends/DH behaiviour or some minor transgression and at no point does anyone step forward and suggest they've forgotten something, or don't realise something etc. And this will extend to other mumsnetters, the point of some comments gets completely missed. No one asks questions, just makes assumptions and argues.
Theres a general lack of awareness that everyone has different ways of communicating and things that are important to them.
Having said that - I do admit I come on here out of boredom - I think enjoy the drama 😬 and the arguments fuel that!

I agree. If an OP isn’t perfect, if something has been worded clumsily in the moment or could have been worded better, they decide to take the wording overly literally and choose to get “offended”. Then once they have their accusation they all pile on. Doesn’t seem to matter that the person is just asking for help, their need to vent some aggression and feel superior trumps everything. It’s weird. I left Mumsnet for a while after falling victim to this.

Exactly @Rainbowb. Not everyone speaks English as a first language, or is articulate.
Especially not at all times - I imagine a lot of posters write their responses while sleep deprived and running after toddlers. Since this is a parenting forum!

Having said that - I do admit I come on here out of boredom - I think enjoy the drama 😬 and the arguments fuel that!

I think lots of us do! That's the kind of thing comment I'm talking about though, it's not evil or vicious, just honest.

I do like the saying, "If you want more kindness in the world, put it there." Maybe I should have that as my MN mantra.

Having said that, at what point are you agreeable for the sake of it, rather than giving your genuine point of view? I think it's a respect thing. I wish people would disagree without being disrespectful or rude.

....

Argh, so Now I'm ranting. I wonder if it's this side of me that pisses people off?

Rant away OP.
I bet you can’t beat me. I’ve been called a cunt for my animal welfare beliefs.
It doesn’t help that I use my phone to MN so often things probably come across as snippy.

@Wolfiefan ok, you win. I've yet to be called a cunt on here. Something to aspire to maybe?

@SheilaWilcox haha I win. Yay!!! Happy to call you a name of your choice if it helps.

@SheilaWilcox

Such a shame *@daisychain1620* because surely people post because they want to read alternative opinions to their own.

I've been on Mumsnet over 10yrs now.

I've been worrying that maybe I offend people in real life as much as I do on here but they're too polite to say anything.

I'm not convinced that people post because they want to read alternative opinions to their own. There is a sizeable minority who want an echo of their own opinions, mostly because they don't want to change their circumstances they just want to continue on feeling righteously aggrieved because MN agrees that the real world around them is wrong.