Perinatal mental health team

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Currently 31 weeks pregnant and I'm really struggling with my mental health. I haven't slept or eaten properly in 3 days, I keep getting suicidal thoughts and I have no motivation to do anything. I have a list of things i need to get done but even thinking of it I get overwhelmed. I tried speaking to my health visitor about it but she brushed it under the carpet saying its normal to feel the way I am during pregnancy and it will pass. After another night of no sleep and suicidal thoughts I rang the doctors, the doctor called back and I spoke to him about how I feel and hes refered me to the perinatal mental health team, he said he does not know how long it will take for them to get in touch with me.

Does anyone know how long it takes for the perinatal mental health team to get in touch? I am better during the day when I know there are people arround me that are only a phone call away but during the night it gets worse and I feel so alone and the suicidal thoughts kick in, the only thing stopping me taking action is feeling my baby kick. I just want someone to cut this baby out and leave me to die. I don't think I can go through annother night like I have been.

I don't know how long they will take, sorry but here is a link with resources that might help. smalltimemum1.wordpress.com/2020/03/31/support-when-mums-need-it-most-perinatal-mental-health-support-during-covid-19-and-beyond/

They should get in touch fairly quickly but e wait to will be depend on how busy your particular team is. I had a preemptive referral when I found out I was expecting. I had an appointment through within a week, the appointment was 4 weeks after that but at the time I wasn't unwell just high risk of becoming unwell during pregnancy and post child birth.
I have received input from the team since 32 weeks and am now nearly 7 weeks postpartum and have contact with them most weeks either a appointment at home or a phone call.

Do you have a crisis or home treatment team in your area? If things are difficult again tonight do you think you could go to A&E if needed?

It was around 4 weeks for me, but I wasn't honest with how severe it was, so you might get seen quicker. I was given a psychiatrist and eventually medicine to help me and to prevent PND. The mental health team will take it much more seriously than a health visitor and will help you.

I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall with being told to seek advice when I feel like I need help and not to let it get bad. Yet I feel rejected trying to get help.

My midwife is very adamant that I need to take medication which I'm very against as I've been on it before and I got a lot worse before I got better and it took a long time and coming off them weren't easy eather. I'm not looking fallword to my next appointment telling her I did not go to my GP and ask to be put on medication like she told me to!

I had a letter though the post today from the perinatal mental health team saying I did not meet the criteria and so the referral has been closed. No explanation why and given no other options on who to get support from instead.

I've still been struggling but coping with the thought that help is on it's way but now its not it's got me really down again and I don't know where to turn to now.

I'm very shocked they would say someone didn't meet the criteria. What were they told about you do you know?

The letter had no information other than I did not meet the criteria. My doctor referred me and I was very open to how I feel to him, I don't know what information he had told them.

I feel very nervous about going to my next midwife appointment and telling her that I did not meet the criteria to get help from the perinatal mental health team and i did not go to the gp to get medication as she was very demanding saying I must go get medication. I feel like I'm being pushed into the only thing that I can get to help is medication and I do not want to go on medication due to my experience on medication in the past.

It may be worth asking your doctor what he wrote and why it wasn't approved.

Your second bit I could have written myself. When I had my son (and throughout my pregnancy) it was all pills, pills, pills. They seemed baffled that I didn't want to take them. As though that's the only thing they want to give. So I feel for you on that one. I would say I didn't want pills and they were huffy about it, but couldn't do anything else.

I would chase up the perinatal request. Perhaps you could ring them yourself? Would you feel able to?

Also health visitors can be really helpful at chasing things up. So she could get involved too to get you help. I'm wondering whether it's impacted due to Covid but that seems unjust.

It could be that you are not "severe" enough. In which case see if you can self refer to your local primary care mental health service (this is likely to be an IAPT service if you are in England).
Or alternatively maybe you have something like a previous mental health diagnosis on your records that means you are too severe/complex for their service. It's impossible to say, without knowing the remit of this particular service and it might be worth phoning to ask more detail. I am really sorry that this happened, but I recommend you call your GP and ask what the other options are.

That’s really alarming and I’d raise it with your midwife. Suicidal feelings should absolutely meet the criteria, if they don’t what the heck does?! Previous diagnoses shouldn’t work against you either, in fact they should put you higher up the list. I’d be concerned something hasn’t been communicated properly. Please please push and fight for yourself, these feelings are absolutely not a normal part of pregnancy.

I wouldn’t write off medication either. It’s none of our first choices but sometimes it is necessary and there’s plenty that’s safe in pregnancy and whilst breastfeeding. If you feel like harming yourself medication might be the best option

Sadly some secondary services are extremely overwhelmed by referrals so have ridiculously high thresholds for offering support. It is awful when you don't qualify. 2 years ago I was discharged from the cmht because I was in full time employment, my symptoms were irrelevant.

Please make an appointment to see your gp again even if you don't want to take medication, see what else there is on offer - self referrals for therapy or similar.
Also ask if there are any community midwifes with mh as a speciality, there were two in my area that I could have seen if needed.