Horrible thoughts

[Betty12331]

I suffer with depression and anxiety .
Every day I wake I have these horrible thoughts that I can’t control.I’m in my 30s and I really feel the pressure now to sort things out . I don’t have a love life at all. I went on a date with a guy ( I’d met through work in the past )but he kept talking about how attractive other women were. He didn’t want to see me again and I keep going over and over how I’m not good enough . I’ve tried online dating , but I don’t ever much luck . I don’t match up looks wise to the other women on it .

I feel left behind and I’m also now job seeking and getting a lot of rejections.
I just don’t feel hopeful about life at all anymore . I feel like I haven’t got anything in my life and I don’t know what to do anymore . Can anyone relate ?

Hi Betty,

You are not alone. There are others including myself who are suffering from depression and the negative thoughts when you wake up are also familiar with me. These are lies and that is the depression that is overwhelming you.

I don't think you need to judge yourself by what one man's opinion is of you. He was clearly a dick but at least you had a lucky escape. Try not to base your self worth on what you look like in comparison to other women's filtered photos online. Look at your good points and achievements and hopefully you can see that you are worth more than what you thought.

The job situation is dire at the moment and I am sorry to say I don't have much to offer as consolation. Are you applying for absolutely everything or only things that match your skills? Would you consider a lesser skilled and lesser paid job just to occupy yourself during the day and get out?

Have you got some friends who you can talk to either in person or even over Zoom? Not necessarily about all these but I feel better after a bit of company.

Good luck.