Could somebody spare a few minutes to help me?

[AnOverthinker]

I'm 26. I have always suffered from what I believe to be anxiety. My minds constantly 100mph. I can't make decisions. Even the tiniest decision I spiral thinking of reprucussions and worst cases and how it'll affect people. If I could let someone else decide my entire life I would just let them and go along with it because atleast then it's not my fault if things go wrong. I think everybody hates me, all the time. I'm extremely self conscious. I over analyse every situation. I struggle with jobs, with friendships, I'm constantly feeling like I have to put on an act. I don't really feel like I know who I am. I had a baby last year. It's worse since. I got diagnosed with PND and put on meds. They just made me numb. I keep coming off them. Then having a crisis. I waited 10 months for a referral for NHS counselling to get a letter saying my referral has been cancelled and to see a gp again if I still want it. I'm going to go private. I want to sort my head out. I'm trying to write to a potential counsellor. It all sounds garbled. I don't know how to summarise the above. Can anybody help? What do I say?

Honestly, it won’t matter at all what you say in your email - you could just write what you wrote here if you like, it all makes perfect sense. Don’t worry about sounded garbled, they won’t be judging you at all. I know it’s hard when it feels like everybody is. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a poor experience of being referred through the NHS - it’s so frustrating when you’ve been brave enough to ask for help. Good luck, you can do it

When I applied for private counselling I just introduced myself, said I was struggling, gave an outline of what my issues were and signed off the email by saying that I hope to hear back.

If you copy and paste what you have written above the counsellor will get a clear picture of things.

Also, go back to your gp, you can try other medication. What are you taking now?

Well done for reaching out for help. That is very brave and the hardest step.

You deserve to be happy

I’m so sorry your referral was cancelled, that’s so upsetting! Have you found a specific counsellor? I can PM details of my therapist who is doing zoom sessions, if you need someone.

I agree with fishy - writing what you’ve written here would be fine. The therapist’s first job is to help you clarify what you need help with - they won’t expect you to go in with an articulate list.

I so relate to the mind racing and worse case scenarios, I have ADHD and my brain Does. Not. Stop. It’s exhausting. PND mixed with lockdown must have been incredibly tough 💐

I feel for you OP, I have this anxiety too. I agree your explanation gives a clear picture of how you feel. And the garbled feeling you have is I think a symptom of your mind racing. Do you feel you might have very high standards or expectations of yourself? It’s fine to write just what you feel

Good luck in getting a counsellor

Just write whatever you write and try not to worry about it. It doesn't matter if it's garbled or not. It's not an English test . Might bullet points be easier to write than trying to write a letter?
You have to try and have faith in the counsellor - they will be well trained and they will have seen and heard it all a million times before. They will know what to look for and if they want more information they will ask you. You can hand the responsibility over to them.

I really hope things improve for you. It sounds very difficult. In the meantime are you ok at looking after the basics ie eating ok, exercising and sleeping? (I know that's not easy with a baby around)

I agree with what has already been said i.e. if you were to cut and paste what you have already written above that would be absolutely fine.

That must be so difficult to deal with and I hope you manage to get the help that you want soon.