PND at 6 months+ ?

[skilliganmcgilligan]

Hi everyone,

I'm just looking for a bit of a hand hold and to see if anyone has been or is going through a similar thing.

I had my second baby 6.5 months ago. For the most part I've been fine, I have coped well during lockdown with a new baby. just a few wobbles maybe.

However, for about a month now I have really really struggled. I have reached breaking point today where I feel so low I just feel like ending it. I won't. But that's how low I am. For the past few weeks I have convinced myself that everyone around me hates me, rational thought has gone out the window and my anxiety is through the roof. I'm having panic attacks and feel like I can't breathe almost daily.

My son still wakes a lot in the night but even when he's asleep I can't sleep. I'm so tired but my brain won't let me rest.

I have a supportive and loving DP but over the weekend I decided that it would be best if I left him. That I should just get in my car and go away, at least for a bit. In the middle of Saturday night I made physical notes on why I thought he was betraying me and what we needed to do to "address in the relationship". On Sunday when I read them back they were just complete nonsense... I have no idea what I was thinking but at the time I was so upset and believed he was doing wrong.

Today I just have no interest, I can't pick my little boy up, I don't want to feed him or play. I just want to crawl under the covers and not come out. I don't think I can be a good mum anymore.

DP has taken this afternoon off to give me a break and take the baby out. I have booked a doctors appointment for tomorrow to get some help. I can't carry on like this, I feel like I'm going insane. Everyone just says to me "go for a walk" and it's making me want to scream.

If it's PND, I always thought it would present itself much earlier than this? I was so happy during the newborn phase though... is this normal this late? Has anyone else been through this? What help can I get?

Thanks in advance for any advice and support.

Anyone?

Bump

Gp now! You are simply unwell. Whether PND or triggered by lockdown or whatever, you just need help with it at this level. You will be ok if you reach out. It's not your fault and please realise that this is a sickness like any. It needs treated and you will feel better.

So please please call your GP and be honest. They will help.

You're going to be fine OP. You've done great to get this far with a new baby but mental health collapsed like this happen to the strongest of us.

Hi, just wanted to say you are not alone in this. I can totally empathise as I am going through the same thing as you, almost the exact same emotions. I have an almost 6 month old (FTM) and have recently been diagnosed with PND. The best thing I ever did was reach out, it has taken months of thinking that it will just get better by itself but I just couldn't cope any longer. It's not our fault, it's just one of those shitty things that happens to some of us, doesn't mean we aren't and can't be great mums. But we are, just for the fact that we're recognising something isn't right and are seeking help. Please speak to the GP, I've found the health care professionals involved to be very supportive since doing this. And it will hopefully take a weight off for you just talking about how you feel. Hugs and take care of yourself

Thanks so much for your replies. I really appreciate it and know you are both so right.

I'm so glad you are getting good help and support @simplebuteffective

I feel just that bit stronger now with your responses.

I have a video appointment with my doctor this evening so hopefully I can get on the right track now too.

Handhold OP it has been such a stressful time, the GP is definitely the way forward and I bet you’ll feel better just having had the appointment. I struggle with anxiety and it’s definitely been harder this year with lockdown and constantly adapting to new rules and routines.

You’re going to be fine

Thank you @JamNutellaOrHoney that's absolutely it.

So I spoke to the doctor and she asked me some questions and I explained how I was feeling. She asked if I would be comfortable going into hospital tonight and I said no I couldn't do that right now but I have agreed to go tomorrow. She said it wouldn't be for admission purposes but to able to get urgent access to the home support team as she thinks it would take longer without me attending a&e. I'm still terrified of being sectioned or separated from my baby. She asked to speak to my partner and explained to him and now he's freaking out as he wasn't aware of how bad I was really feeling. So I don't know if I feel better or worse...

Any reassurances will be gratefully received right now...

Don't worry OP, they will simply help you. Not force you to do anything you really don't want. Go with the flow and let others take on some of the worries for a bit. They are just being careful and can't really fairly assess you on the phone.

I totally understand. Please go to your gp, you have been through such a challenging time. I have a 6 month old and it has been the hardest time to have a baby. I think we have all done an amazing job to get through such a stressful time with a newborn.

sorry op, I didn't read your update. I would feel the same as you, terrified of going in to the hospital. I would say go in, take your baby with you, that will help to keep you calm. They are professionals and they will only be there to help you. I am sure there aim would be for you to leave with your baby and with all the support you need / any meds set up. Many hugs xx

Thank you so much for your kind messages.

It's been a bit of a mess and I've ended up getting a lot of different people ringing me from numerous mental health teams as they worked out who was picking it up. but I didn't have to go anywhere in the end and now have an appointment with a psychiatrist from the perinatal team next week. Pleased to have a plan in place now anyway.

Hopefully will get on right track now. after sharing how I feel it's a lot better already.

Thanks everyone for your supportive words x