My little boy is 4 years old and since I’ve had him I feel I’m being punished for having a child it sounds odd but every time I go to my parents my mum digs at me constantly I’m never aloud to tell my child no or tell him off for being naughty she says I’m cruel she makes me feel useless I just feel I can do no right other family members have told me they can see I’m terrified to tell my child off when I’m around her she makes everything so difficult she tells me I am not having any more kids I don’t want to have any more anyway but surely you should not say this to your daughter it made me very upset ... we seem to argue all the time and I’ve tried to talk to her calmly to find the issue but there is just no talking to her she is very negative and some one told me she is controlling me and don’t want me to live my life I see my family a lot and people have said to try and break it and not see them so much and I try but my mum does not leave me
Alone she constantly rings or texts me she has to know what I’m doing or where I am I have to have a valid reason when I want to leave there house I can’t just say I’m going I have to think of an excuse it’s exhausting I go round there now terrified because I know we’re going to argue or she will upset me some how I feel my child will grow up to be spoilt because all she does is give into him and it feels I’m trying to teach him right from wrong and she isn’t helping I’m a single mum and I work and I seem to deal with all there drama on top of everything if sometimes I just want to relax at home on a day off I simply can’t because she will either turn up at mine or text or ring me I feel I can’t breath it’s really difcult to explain but her behaviour is odd towards me I’m nearly 30 now !!! I feel she is my child it’s like I have to baby sit her I’m trapped it’s an awful feeling and so difficult to explain she makes me have zero confidence she doubts anything I say weather it’s to do with my child or not she even does things like if I have a parcel she has to know what it is or she will open it or let my child open it if she is looking after him even if I say not to and she doesn’t see it’s wrong .. she also has this weird thing that if you tell her your unwell she will get angry it’s like your punished for being ill some one mentioned it could be health anxiety but it’s difficult I think she honestly needs help but she won’t get it there’s been so many little things happen I go away from there most of time in tears and I’m terrified now and get worked up Before I even go there ... if I say no my child isn’t having some thing she will give it to him anyway and ignore me or if he hits me or he hits her how kids do sometimes I tell him off and she will say nothing she makes out I’m lazy even though I look after my child and I work !! She tells me I think you don’t want your child ... which is not true that’s simply because I tell him off and she thinks I’m cruel ... she keeps telling me to have a hysterectomy because I’ve had a lot of women’s period problems and tells me it doesn’t matter because I’m not having any more children I was gob smacked when I first heard her say it to me it really upset me yet I didn’t dare say anything to her .... she also just seems to make me do all the running round she knows I’m busy and have a child yet I’m always the one to sort out her or my family problems I’m always the one they expect to go running yet I’m lazy apparently !! I’m sick of it I can’t explain it all but her behaviour is odd and I’m so stuck and don’t know what to do about it at all why do I feel like I’m being punished for having a child ? Why am I made to feel this way ? Why do I need to justify when and where I go ?? I have got to stage I’ve started not telling her stuff because it causes more grief sometimes about anything if my child is ever ill some how it’s my fault if he has colds oh it’s because u didn’t put a coat on him I just can’t win this could be in middle of summer to there’s so many examples of little things she says and does ... if I ask her to do me a favour she wouldn’t do it or she causes a fuss yet I have to drop everything for her and yet I feel there is no appreciation I’ve always been close to my family and I think that’s why it upsets me so much because I don’t get why her attitude is like it towards me ? I cried one day because I struggled with depression and anxiety and I sat next to her in the car and said I’m really struggling and need help this was after my ex had passed away and she got out of the car and shut the door and told me I’m always grumpy all I needed was a chat and to be told it was ok instead I got that I get when u have a child your no longer that important and course the kid comes first but I still need some one to ask if I’m ok ! I just feel I do everything for people yet I get treated like I do nothing ! There’s maybe a lot more I’ve missed out on but I just wondered if any one could offer some advice on how I can make it better as I just feel trapped ! Also I’ve noticed how my little boy gets aggressive and plays up a lot more when we are around my mum I’m wondering if it’s because he knows he can get away with more because she never tells him no ? I don’t know either way it makes it so difficult for me
Thanks guys I would appreciate some advice sorry if I missed some stuff out