I sometimes wish I were dead

[mertyey]

I hate the whole Covid situation. I hate what it has done to people, to their interactions and relationships. I hate the judgementalism it has unleashed. I hate it. I don't currently wish I were dead but sometimes actually think it would be preferable as so many of the things that make life worth living have gone. Worst of all are the people who seem to enjoy foreboding suggestions of worse to come. 2020 I hate you and I have little hope of a better life right now.

I see what you're saying
I hate the isolation it's brought

Lots of people feel the same way (not as far as ending life) but have to get on with it.

Life goes on for many and we have to adapt to this new way of living.

It is what it is, and if you really think about it, sometimes pre Covid wasn't that great either was it?

There are 67 million people living in UK now and they will adapt.

Wish you well, I know it is difficult but it is life as we know it know for everyone. Hope you will be OK.

Hey OP, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. None of this is easy and I guess we all deal with it differently.

For some hearing about it all the time is depressing, for others discussing the worst case scenario can help them feel mentally prepared for anything. They're not doing it to upset you, it's their way of coping.

I think you should have a word with your GP about how you're feeling and maybe avoid the topic wherever possible.

@mertyey

I hate the whole Covid situation. I hate what it has done to people, to their interactions and relationships. I hate the judgementalism it has unleashed. I hate it. I don't currently wish I were dead but sometimes actually think it would be preferable as so many of the things that make life worth living have gone. Worst of all are the people who seem to enjoy foreboding suggestions of worse to come. 2020 I hate you and I have little hope of a better life right now.

Yes. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for my kids I’d rather just get it and die of it than live like this any more. Life is so pointless.

Worst of all are the people who seem to enjoy foreboding suggestions of worse to come.

These do seem much more prevalent on MN than real life.

@ulanbatorismynextstop

Your title is that you sometimes wish you were dead, then in the first few sentences you say that you don't really feel like that.

There are lots of people suicidal but using it to grab peoples attention is a low trick.

I get what you are saying about Covid, but your title is in poor taste.

Maybe read what she said before posting an inaccurate interpretation.

I get it. My sister has been stranded overseas in Africa since February, completely alone. I live somewhere with near enough zero covid. It's great because normal life continues as normal. I'm slowly starting to lose the plot because with our borders being sealed the next time I have a chance to leave here is possibly next July .

I never thought taking my teenagers to Nandos and Primark in Liverpool would be such a big deal.

You are not alone. I’ve gone from scared to just not giving a shit anymore if I catch this thing and cark it. Although in the absence of a reliable and accessible antibody test, who’s to say I’ve not already had it?

I feel I’m being gaslit by millions of people.

Hopefully vaccinations will start in December.

I know your feelings relate to covis but mental health topic may be a better place to get advice. Hope things improve for you x

I sometimes wish I was dead too but Covid-19 has nothing to do with it. If anything, I've appreciated the peace and solitude, it has been good for me. I feel so protected and private in my home; nobody bothers me, I choose whether or not to answer the telephone, can sleep whenever I want.

At the moment I do not actively want to die because there are a few things I need to achieve but after that, I'll be quite happy to pop my clogs (as long as I can do it quietly).

I don't think Covid-19 has made much difference to how I feel on this issue, I've always had phases of being morbid.

It's good to not be afraid of death.

Anyway, good luck to you, op, whatever happens. The current situation will eventually ease (it's only been six months for goodness sake), there will be a vaccine and you will no doubt pick up your life where you left off. Back to the rat race.

I hate the judgementalism it has unleashed. I hate it.

For me, it's confirmed what I've always thought, people will turn on you in seconds if it suits them. I've never trusted a single person outside my family (and also don't trust some of them) and this whole virus situation has reinforced that for me.

All the BeKind or whatever it was that was floating around not so long ago, is exactly what I thought it was, virtue signalling bollocks.

Insane totally agree with you regarding feeling that we are being gaslighted! Everything is so baffling!

It’s bloody crap isn’t it OP?

Some people really do seem to be revelling in the scaremongering don’t they.

I felt so low back in April/May, as did many of us, and I’d felt so much more positive over the Summer but this past week and the rise in cases and the general doom and gloom connected to that has knocked me right back. Of course I knew there was the chance that this would happen once things started opening up more but the optimist in me hoped that it wouldn’t happen.

One thing I've learnt over the past six months is that all our society's newfound 'sensitivity' to MH disintegrated incredibly quickly when the shit hit the fan, as some of replies here amply demonstrate.

Firstly, please reach out to someone in real life if you can. Have you been in touch with your GP? I know GP care is shit at the moment, but at least its a start. I (very reluctantly) went back on anti-depressants back in hard lockdown and it was 100% the right choice to tide me over.

Also try & give yourself a break from online life. I say this as someone who frequently fails at this...like, erm, now...but who is much happier when I succeed. This particular MN forum is particularly crazy right now TBH. A dedicated Covid forum is by definition going to attract the people who are very intensely focused on it, whether because of particular objective risk factors or because they are struggling with their own anxiety issues. And then there are just people - and I know a few in real life - who almost revel in any kind of collective misery, perhaps because it makes their own lives feel less inadequate or their own underlying unhappiness more tolerable or whatever? Maybe its easier to bear the fact that your own little world is pretty narrow or disappointing or whatever if everyone's world is suddenly like that too? And there are defo people who just get some kind of satisfaction out of creating & absorbing panic porn. I know I really need to find a way to block this bloody forum & probably the whole of MN personally but its a bit like driving past an awful car crash. You know you should look away but you don't

The comments about how I'm using suicidal feelings to grab people's attention have made me livid! For God's sake read what I wrote. SOMETIMES is not the same as all the time. That's why I said sometimes in the title and not currently in the body. There are some people on here just going around looking for noj existemt slights and trying to virtue signal all over them. Its ruined MN as well this stuff.

mertyey

Have you told anyone in real life about how you feel? Are you getting support?

Please contact your GP.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly

It is really shit OP, it really is. But please don't listen to the doomsayers that predict all the worst possible scenarios. They're not psychic, they can't see into the future any better than you do, they just have their own coping mechanisms. If you see them as scared rather than as gleefully doomspreading it can help.

Keep the faith OP. I am in France where I know it is well reported that cases are rising fast. In fact only 2 departments remain unclassified as a red zone. However, after a recent announcement from the prime minister I feel the tide is finally turning and they are realising that ultimately we’re just going to have to live with this thing like we do other viruses and life is slowly going back to normal.

Last night I took the dog for a walk at the local park and there was a wedding on the island in the lake with tables full of happy people and a live jazz band. I walked around that lake so many times because it was beyond joyful to see normal life and hear live music out in the open. I honestly feel like a new woman today after being so completely fed up with it all.
I am hopeful that I am right and that this is the direction France and then hopefully other countries will begin to take because we can’t keep going on with all this social distancing, closed borders, local lockdown and no family meet up plan indefinitely.

It is really shit and really hard OP