Turning life around when you have nothing

[Anotherthink]

This is about my db who has had psychosis. He doesn't work and has isolated himself from absolutely everybody for several years and cannot reconnect as he moved away. He lives rurally now but with family support so good reason to stay but there are very few resources to rehabilitate him and get him back to the real world.

Voluntary work around here is shop work which wouldn't suit him and absolutely nowhere is taking on new volunteers for the forseeable. There's nothing he can be referred on to, to just keep him occupied and to help with his transition. His life is direction less but he is not ready for work. How the hell can I support him?

Has anyone come back from this? It's been over 5 years that he has struggled and he needs something to move forward with while he's in a good place if he's ever gonna have a chance at this.

Does he have any interests that could become hobbies?

Not really, that's part of the problem.

He used to be a runner but is very overweight now. Insists that he has changed and doesn't want to get into fitness again. Big music lover but no appetite to learn to play.

Likes football but no teams he could join.

Look at art therapy, he could draw whilst listening to music, then work on fitness. Or perhaps get him a dog, someone else might have to foot the vet bills and food, but could the family cover that for his Christmas/birthday gifts?

Keeping current with music and football news (even older groups/members) is a kind of hobby. Does he have internet?

Gardening and birding are right outside his door. Maybe he could use some encouragement to plan & prep an area for a garden next spring? Maybe he would use binoculars if they came as a gift?

These are lovely ideas but not suitable knowing his personality. He has rejected a gardening programme for people with mental health problems citing it's not for him.

I'm getting him out on walks now. He used to have a huge love of the outdoors and I'm hoping that in time it will return and he will continue it independently but for now I'm forcing him out. At least it does me good too!

I guess the problem is that he can't find one thing to do day in day out and needs to broaden his horizons and have an activity lined up for each day. The more social the better but that's looking increasingly unlikely given that things are tightening up again.

Music is a bone of contention as he listens to it all day every day and he's living with family so they have to put up with it in the living areas so he doesn't retreat to his bedroom.

could you book him a short break away a few days somewhere you know will lift his spirits? often just a small change of environment in the short term is enough to get people feeling a bit more positive. Alternately maybe moving his room around, giving his house a deep clean / declutter, putting up new decor can really influence someone's mood in a positive way - it tricks the brain into thinking it's a "new" phase of life and can really brighten up the mood etc. Small steps, often, things to look forwards to or to change things up bit by bit in a positive way

I think you're right. He's in a good place but I think there's a sense of apathy having been here many times before and nothing changes for the long term until he goes on a downward spiral again. Small changes will hopefully increase his appetite to do more things.

I think his clothes need a good clear out so may encourage him to do that and then take him shopping. Meeting up at places rather than going to see him at his house as that stagnates very quickly.

Sorry, the break away is a great suggestion but I think there is a chance it could backfire so wouldn't want to risk that. There's a bit of alcohol abuse involved and I think his spirits would get a bit too lifted iykwim!

could you take him away for a couple of days, be with him to avoid alcohol abuse issues? Or maybe a day trip together or something fun to look forwards to.

And how about helping him repaint his flat or something? Having freshly painted walls always helps me feel better :) Get him a new duvet cover or cushions to brighten it up a bit.

Not exactly the same but bipolar ex iv amphetamine user when I first arrived home at my mums I was too weak to even leave the bed for 6 months and also had to constantly have music.

For me I needed a small task daily even something as simple as go collect my medication at first accompanied then later by myself gradually increasing them I started getting motivation which led to me doing activities.

So for me I'd say you need to encourage him to leave the house every day even if it's just a walk to his local shop.