Childhood issues resurfacing

[Sweettoothnomore]

If you had a traumatic experience as a child that you had therapy for as an adult is it common for things to come up again if you have children and they are the same age that you were. If that makes sense?

Yes, very much so. Do you need therapy again? have you had EMDR? I found that resolved quite a few issues.

Yes parenthood causes trauma to resurface even if you’ve had therapy. I second a previous recommendation to look into EMDR

My previous post made it sound like it was a given, that’s not the case just very common

Absolutely yes in my own life. I hope you have support as you walk through what's coming up. I needed lots of space to process.

Thanks so much everyone, I'll look into the EMDR, I suppose I thought I've worked through this before and should have moved on.

Sorry, its OP, name changed since I posted at the weekend.

I feel now that we just have to accept that we can't really 'control' when our own emotional work is done. We just kind of find out as things come up in our life and maybe we react differently or it hurts less...the mind is a mysterious place.

Thanks leafy, that makes sense, hope you are OK

Phew - glad that made sense! It just seems to be how it pans out, that our kids are going to trigger 'our stuff'...I find something a bit empowering in that though, once we start on our own work as we realise it's happening it can be a complete game changer as we realise it's not our kids making us angry, sad etc, it's our emotional history tearing up. So then we stop feeling angry 'at' our kids and can start to own our own crap. So just keep going, you can work through this.

Sorry I meant 'rearing up' not 'tearing up'!

For me it came up once I had my own children, then I was able to deal with it. It's certainly put my relationship with my parents in a different light.

Oh absolutely, actually I was up last night thinking about something that was passed buried. I find it hard to seperate what is trauma and what is normal parenting stuff. Having my DD has made me feel so many emotions about my childhood

So interesting you mention anger Leafy, that's what led me to seek help in the first place. Long buried issue that only really came to light when I became a parent. Angry all the time so I went to therapy suspecting it was to do with my childhood experience. This makes me think I may need to revisit it.

Arietty, yes it has definitely made me see my parents and my upbringing in a very different light - not a good one!

Thanks so much all for replying

Don't know where the paragraphs went, I definitely put them in!