I need a hug :-(

[NAB3]

Been off AD's for a few days after being on them solidly for 12 months and on and off for about 5-6 years. Today is a bad day to the point of what was the point of being on the tablets? Been a cow to my DD, stressed with DS2 and awful to DH. Had huge row this morning with him and he left for work without saying bye.

What would be worse, living like this forever or dying and missing out on seeing my children grow up and having Grandchildren.

Have no-one at all in the world. No family. Nobody I could ring and confess all this too.

Was going to name change as feel they are people on here who know me in RL but haven't let on, but what is the point?

I have 3 real life friends. One is miles away and we write and text rarely and ring even less often but are long standing pals and both busy with loads of kids.

Another is also a long way away and haven't seen her in 14 months or spoke in ages as never catch each other in.

Other pal lives round corner but she works and has her own life. Is lovely though.

Don't know if I have friends on here?

I don't mind being on the Ad's. I just feel pointless going back on them as it is always going to be there and it will be like this again once I am off.

of course you have friends on here I just thought you may want to talk rather than type. How old are your children?

NAB- im with you, i have very low points at times. am very isolated having moved far away from family and friends. love my man but sometimes we just need a womans company. i really hope you just hang on in there. the lows feel like they go on forever but in reality they dont. im always here if you need a natter or a rant!xxxx

NAB3 -awww sory its a rotten day
is stopping the AD's a gradual planned withdrawal, can u get more support?

big Hugs

NAB3, haven't read the whole thread, but was there a particular reason you came off the AD's? Could it be withdrawal symptoms?

I've never taken AD's but have had many a day like you describe and I know how you feel. The only thing that helps me is to sit down and talk to DH about how I feel and luckily for me DH is very understanding once he knows what's up with me and I usually feel soooo much better. Could you try that?

I too have no real family or anyone else to talk to apart from a couple of friends who also have their own issues so I don't always like to call them.

A big big hug from me. Could you try and arrange something nice that you could look forward to?

Thanks all. Again.

My kids are 2, 4 and 6.

I finished the D's on Tuesday.

Busy day tmw. Got to take the cat to the vet. And then my DD to a party. Hoping for some free time inbetween.

(((((((((((((((Nab3))))))))))))))))))) , wanted to say , I sooo soo know how you are feeling. Was your concelling just a talky , "how did that make you feel?" type of thing?. As a ruminator I found that awful for me ; errrr yerr I know I feel bad , yes its makes me feel like sh*t , not a surprise there !!!!

Im in no place right now to offer advice , things are not great for me, but I have a right old story with all of what you talk of and Ive had some really really wonderful up moments that have lasted way beyond a year. Life is all cyclical , things roll up and down , its just on the down , we need others for emotional support, comfort, affection and soothing. Its not something as adutls we often ask for or get.

I know you feel alone , I hope these words from me and others help you and give some relief in the dark xx.

I'm with the others, if you want to rant I'm happy to listen. I'm sure you have loads of other friends on here too! I find it easier to talk to people i can't see as i guess you do too?!
Keep your chin up and remember there will always be someone on here to chat to.
Have you tried listening to music?

Oh NAB! I see you've mentioned it part way through the thread, but my first thought when I read your OP was 'why would she stop ADs at exactly the time that she found out her gran had died?'. It sounds like terrible timing. Do you have enough ADs left to carry on taking, and then go back to your GP and explain that you didn't feel you were coping well when you stopped?

Nab, you sound terribly down, and i know you don't want to go back on ADs, and you didn't feel counselling worked, but you do owe it to yourself and your children to keep trying.

there's so many different kinds of ADs out there, and you have to be persistent, keep going back to your GP and demand something that works. you pay your taxes, and you're ill and entitled to medical assistance in order to get better. that includes counselling. i suspect you just haven't found the right counsellor for you.

i've been through very similar things as you recently, and it took a lot to convince myself to get the help i needed, so please don't give up.

The point is they help you to feel better. It doesnt matter about having to come off them in the future.

What matters is what you need now. As I said before, it can take 2 years, on average, for your body's own chemicals to balance themselves. Give yourself a fighting chance.

Thanks all. Meant to have left 10 mins since so will come back later and reply properly to you all. Thank you so much.

Change of plan. Not going door shopping now so have a bit of time before leaving for the vet.

melsy The counsellor I saw in 2001/2 wanted to talk about my mother and she was the last person I wanted to talk about. Went for quite a while but don't really think it helped. Saw someone different once last year but he gave me the creeps and my GP agreed I didn't have to go again. TBH I am not sure conselling is for me.

CSWS The GP had only given me 2 weeks at half the dose and then said stop so it was a coincidence about the timing with my Gran. She actually died in March but no one told me. I had to ring the hospital and a poor sister had to tell me. I felt sorry for that.

This is ridiculous. I know depression isn't something you can work through (the chemical type) but I think the chemical inbalance is okay and it is the emotional depression I have. And will always have tbh.

I am a bit nervous about posting exactly how I feel/what I have been through as I think people on here know me in RL and I don't want my child to be treated differently. On the other hand, they aren't my friends anyway and in 2 years at school he hasn't been invited to anyone's house so maybe I should say to hell with it, and be myself.

((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))

Yesterday morning started off bad but ended up being okay.

Today has been okay though DS1 is being a monkey and cheeking me.

What I need, is when I am having a really bad day, to find a way to not let it completely take over and to tell myself it is just a day and tmw will be better.

Hey,

Just seen your own thread, sorry yur having such a sh*t time of it. Maybe too soon to come off AD's?

You say you need to find a way of telling yourself that tomorrow may be better well have you actually done this and I dont mean light hearted in the head oh tomorrow will be better.. I know I may be stating the obvious but from what I can see you are alot stronger than you think you juat dont know it! the thing is I know that it is hard to fight it when it consumes you so much so I apologise if I come accross condescending, it's just sometimes its the most obvious answers that are the best.

i don't think you are condescending at all. I am always happy to hear peoples advice. You can't always see the wood for the trees.

Slightly better day today but I seem to have become a bit shouty with the kids. Less patience, expecting too much of Dd age 4 and 2 months. Don't know.