Nc for this
I'm not ok. I have a dr appointment today but I'm not sure what to to say.
My life revolves around alcohol. I get panicked if I can't have it. I drink wine from morning till night probably about a bottle a day over a day.
I have intrusive thoughts. My dnan died in March and I picture it a lot. How she looked at the end. Today I've been crying remembering my now 10yo ds and how I took him into hospital when he was 9 days old for being responsive. I didn't hold him. They took his blanket off and he was cold and screaming and I walked away and left my now exh to it. I didn't comfort my baby.
I'm a terrible mum. I left my exh for another man when ds was 3. I let my ex take primary custody. I didn't fight. It was useless trying to fight that man. I'm a bad wife. I'm not really interested in my Dh. I'm not really interested in anything. I had a stepdaughter I loved. She's 12. I haven't seen her in a year. She disowned us. I've never had any reason or explanation for it.
I crave something to love. Something that's with me all the time. I just want my son to love me and not hate me for all the poor choices I have made.
I have hypochondria. I read about a disease and I think I have it. At the moment I have (self diagnosed) trigeminal neuralgia, ms, motor neurone disease, fibromyalgia and more.
I am truly exhausted. I wish I could just sleep and not wake up.
What should I say to the dr? None of this is ok is it?
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Mental health
I'm not ok
16 replies
lilfoxfur · 27/08/2020 11:25
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