Can’t get a grip of my life

[Purple334]

Hello.
I suffer from what I’d call extreme anxiety / depression .

I go for periods where I am okay ish and working, then something goes wrong and I can not cope . I can get quite paranoid , I’m aware that I’m not being that rational at times . But I use things that have happened in the past to rule me . For example this bad thing happened so this will happen again . I struggle to contain my worries and feel everything has to be perfect .

I was brought up in a strict house hold , I was studious . I was bullied and school and I got no support at home . I feel I never learnt to cope with my emotions .My dad has ocd and anxiety .

I’m 30 now . I want things to change and I want a clear period . I’ve had some counselling but it’s not helped . It’s never been long term .

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here . Sometimes I wonder if I have borderline personality disorder or bipolar .

Can anyone offer any suggestions or tips?

I have no advice but oh my gosh I could have written every word of what you said. And I am also 30. I feel completely lost and like I can’t cope with anything

You have recognised you need to learn to look at things in a different way and get some coping strategies for life. This is a turning point for you and your life and there are people out there who can help you. Here is a list of organisations where you might find information and more contacts. www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
Good luck!

@Workinprogress30
I’m sorry you feel the same way but I hope you can find some comfort in not being alone !
@Bromley4ever Thank you , will take a look :)