Dread each day - how do you find joy again

[OhNoNotMonday]

I have had a terrible couple of years with so many things happen and each time I think ok, i've got this, something else seems to come up.

I hate mornings, dread having to get out of bed as I know it is just going to be more of the same shit and I feel like I have nothing to look forward to or no life anymore. I know the reality is I have a lot to be really thankful for and shouldn't really be like this but I just somedays want to go out the door and not come back again, I'm just not really sure what the point is anymore and I don't want to feel like this.

I find it really hard to tell people IRL how I really feel as I don't want them to think I am a mess, or suicidal (I'm not, I just don't see the actual point in life) and I know some of them need me to be a role model or guide them through their life (have young adult children).

How to you just stop this and start to find the joy in life again?

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I remember when I was depressed I felt like I was shards of broken glass and every morning I had to scrape myself into a pile and attempt to go out and act like I wasn't broken. I thought I'd never be happy again. But I got better. It took a lot of time and a bunch of other piecemeal stuff that maybe (or maybe didn't) work for me that maybe wouldn't work for everyone. I remember somewhere down that line I mentioned to a close friend that I'd been getting these weird feelings of excitement which I could almost feel in my stomach. Her response was "you know I think that might be you feeling happy". She was right, it had been so long I hadn't recognised the feeling!

This is a temporary state. You will get back there again. Please be kind to yourself while you get back to better health.

Antidepressants helped me get out of a hole and enjoy life again, rather than just want to sleep away life. I'm not on them at the moment but can relate to how you're feeling and that's a sure sign that I need a chat with my GP. Things that aren't easy at the moment such as socialising, joining a class, therapy, - those helped a lot too.

I wish I knew the answer. I'm currently going through a bad phased and just taking every oppourtunity for self care when I can (which mainly involves spending a lot of time in bed and doing little else) however my son comes back on sunday and I will have to step up to the mark again. It's really difficult. Just know that you are not alone and post on here for support good luck OP

Sorry to hear this but I can relate to all you say.

I’m not sure as I’m not having a great time myself. I try to break the day up in parts and not let myself stress at certain times. I often find myself having a cry but allow myself to do this, but not dwell on it.

Look for the little things you might enjoy, reading, but of shopping, buying food for a nice meal, etc. Maybe a chat with a friend or GP may help. Good luck x

Thanks everyone

I feel a bit of a fraud saying I might have depression as I know people that have suffered with depression and don't like to make light of it and certainly don't think I am bad like they have been. I am just finding everything overwhelming me all the time.

I lost my mom very suddenly and the 2 year anniversary is in Oct, I am already dreading people wanting to celebrate my bday (3 days after) because I still feel like its a reminder to me and my family of what we have lost and have tried explaining this but nobody seems to get it.

Since then I have moved house, husband had a bad car accident and then had mental health issues and is on high dosage of anxiety meds as well as then struggling to get work that wasn't temporary (although did start new perm job recently), my step daughter had a baby and he was and still is very poorly and she is very dependent on us (NC with her own mom) step son moved in (again due to his moms mental health problems). Then covid came along and put pressure on the business I part own and that has been stressful trying to keep everyone in jobs and now step daughter is coming to stay every weekend with grandson so I feel like I work all week and then look after kids all weekend. I can't moan because she is so desperately struggling as the birth had serious complications and then he was so poorly, she has PTSD and is waiting to see a birth trauma team and just split with her boyfriend.

I love the kids and adore grandson and feel like I should just be able to focus on all the good and yet still dread getting up as I am not sure what is going to be thrown at me next. I also feel like I am on such a pity party because I know there are so many people that are struggling in life far harder than I am and seem to get to grips with things.

I keep telling the kids that nothing stays the same forever and hard times pass but I just can't seem to believe it myself at the moment. Thanks though for words of support and I am so sorry for those of you who feel the same or have done and still took the time to respond

I congratulate you for reaching out. I find getting support and advice from this forum really helps because of the drip drip feed. It’s a great alternative to an intense conversation over coffee with a friend.

Sounds like there is tons going on and it would be weird if you didn’t feel utterly overwhelmed. I think what you’re feeling sounds completely reasonable so I wouldn’t apologise or feel you need to buck up.

I try to pace myself when I feel overwhelmed. The marathon not a sprint mentality. I also remind myself that I’m not responsible for taking on the burdens of others. I can support but their problems are theirs to manage or resolve. I’m being trusting and respectful of their ability and capacity to adapt to the challenges of their personal circumstances.

You now need a witty MNetter to come along with a classic ‘fuck ‘em. Drink gin’ type comment to give you a laugh.