Depression from being a mum

[HungryPies]

Hi,
I have struggled with being a mum ever since my daughter was born 10 years ago. She has always been a bad sleeper and now has mild sensory and anxiety issues but no diagnosis of anything. She is clingy and her anxiety is worse around me which makes me feel guilty.
I have never had any mother's instinct in anything I do. From day one I have had no bloody idea how to parent and no one I know understands that. Apparently most people just know how to parent and even enjoy it!
My mental health has suffered and I have now ended up in a really dark place and feel really depressed.
I'm just wondering if anyone has felt the same and knows what sort of help I should be getting. Counselling I assume, but how will that help me be a better parent? Do I need some sort of counselling and coaching?
My GP just gave me the number of the local crisis team which I didn't call. I'd rather just organise something myself than go through the GP.
I've also been advised to ask for a CAMHS referral for my daughter but her school previously said it wasn't appropriate, and as her anxiety seems to come from me I feel it's me who needs the help.
Thanks for reading if you've got this far.

Hiya☺️ I've not been a mum for as long as you, my ds is only 8 months but before pregnancy I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression and since becoming a mum it's all been too much. And just to top it all of I'm pregnant again so my hormones are here there and everywhere on top of how I'd normally feel.

There is a referral team that you can do self referrals with, no need for gp or health care professional to refer you. They are called ' single point of access ' if you type it into google it comes up with a whole load of information on the service and contact details to the service depending on where you live.

Counsellors are lovely! They are so understanding and have a heart of gold! So definitely worth it if you're considering it :) I hope this helps :)