I wasnt sure where to put this, but I think the problem is with me and not the changes, if that makes sense, so I decided to put it here.
I lost my job, quite unexpectedly, 2 months ago. We had moved to an expensive area of the country, bought a house and had a family here and it has floored me. We had always had an idea to move closer to our families if the right job came up, but it would have been a planned move.
We cant afford to stay here long term (or if we did I probably wouldnt have as flexible a job as I had and the quality of our life would go down), so we have made the decision to move. Sold our house very quickly and bought one in our home town very quickly too and now all of the plans are in place I cant stop crying, worrying and overthinking everything.
It all just seems so huge. New (much smaller) house, schools, will have to find jobs, we will miss our friends and all of the places that we go to as a family. This is the only place I have ever been a mum and it feels overwhelming to leave all of it behind. We will move in about 8 weeks. We have done well out of our sale so I cant risk mucking it up, and wouldn't want to as then I would just be worrying equally about any alternative decision that we made.
Like I said, this was part of the plan anyway, just not how I envisaged it. We have taken the very safe and secure option with houses so that we know we will be stable for a few years no matter what happens with jobs. But I am completely over thinking everything, thinking I have let my kids down by not getting them a decent garden. Everyone says if you have doubts it's the wrong house but it's the best choice for us as a family at the moment. The safest way through this mess to provide us with some security.
I am a big over thinker anyway. I suffer with anxiety and have severe adhd. I was just going through being referred when Covid hit so I'm on my own and no point in doing it again until we move. The whole situation just feels overwhelming, likethe rug has been pulled entirely from under my feet. I keep spending whole days googling things like how to make a garden look bigger (actually it's fine, not that much smaller than it current one) and I'm snapping at the kids and not getting anything done (adhd doesnt help with this either as I'm hyper focusing on the little things and procrastinating over the things I can do).
I don't know what I can do...I just basically want to go to sleep and wake up when it's all over. I haven't even started worrying what to do about the mess my career is in. I'm finding it hard to do anything much apart from sneak into the bathroom for a good cry. 