Processing what came up in counselling / therapy

[Nothingforthcoming2020]

Does anyone have any tips on how to feel better after a therapy session? Talked about a lot of very heavy stuff today but before I knew it the session was over and now I’m just sat here crying and thinking about it all. Haven’t even got another session for a few weeks and not sure how to process it all and get on with the rest of my day. Sorry for my ramblings, any tips would be appreciated.

I often feel exactly the same after my sessions.

I wouldn’t say I’m great at always following my own advice, but there are things I do that can help. I have been in therapy for about seven months and over that time I’ve worked on loads of grounding techniques and have found the things that work for me.

Things that work for me are having a hot bath, reaching out to friends, not necessarily about what I’m struggling with, but to just make contact, writing and reflecting on what’s been discussed - but I give myself a 30 minute time limit for this and distracting myself with upbeat YouTube videos/films, reading or colouring.

Can you get appointments any closure together in the future?

Hello @Nothingforthcoming2020. I struggle with this too at times. I have a few ‘go to’ things that I know will make me feel better, like going for a walk with a friend, reading a book or doing a crossword, painting my toenails or baking something. I know now that these things will keep me occupied until the feeling passes. And if you don’t feel up to doing anything like that, are you able to curl up on the sofa and watch a film?
I hope you feel better soon, it’s so hard.

Thank you. I sat and cried for a while and feel better now.

They are usually weekly (only recently started) but she’s away next week! :(

I really struggle with this. I make sure I leave the day entirely free, have something easy for dinner and just indulge myself in something I enjoy.

I also find writing things down helps me to process things a bit quicker and stops me getting stuck in a negative loop.

Letting the feelings run through you is the best way. (Note: not thoughts; feelings.) What we resist feeling-wise in therapy, persists. Try and stay with the feelings as much as possible - they cannot harm you. As you say, you felt better after a cry. Baby steps.

@Nothingforthcoming2020

I’m glad you can usually go weekly. It is hard when you have to miss a week for whatever reason.

It is often good to have a cry and let
your feelings out. I hope you can have a nice evening and do things to look after yourself.

If I'm struggling to process something that came up in therapy, I try to think back and focus on my therapists reaction to what I was saying. Sometimes I can get more out of watching him process what I've said than I do trying to figure out how to process it myself. He often has a lot more compassion for me than I do for myself.

I think a lot of therapy is having someone model a healthy way of dealing with trauma and distress. At the end of the day I still have to do the hardest part of processing what I've been through but he's there with me, while I learn how and I can, to a certain extent, copy him.

If you're too emotional to even try then do something that forces you to engage with it. I like to drive. There are a few roads I like that are fun to drive but so twisty and uneven that you cannot zone out for a second. It gets me out of my head because it forces me to concentrate. Do you have anything you can do, like that?