I think I've finally (after many, many years) reached the point where I think I know I need some help. I know I probably need to speak to a doctor (they did offer me talking therapies several years ago, but I typically brushed it aside as didn't really want to face the fact I think I might need some help). I was hoping someone here might be able to recommend a book or something I could access online to help start the process, as I guess it's not just going to go away on its own, which is what I had hoped. My anxieties are around contamination/health, specifically catching a disease (weirdly the pandemic hasn't actually made it a lot worse, but I think that was because it was already so bad :( ) The really stupid thing is that being ill isn't really the problem, it's more the fact that I caught it in the first place and how I could have avoided catching it, that makes me so anxious. I have children and I worry about them too. My anxiety is really quite bad in that I think it is very life limiting - I base virtually everything I do on whether it would like make me exposed to catching something (never go to crowded places, gyms, eat out; things most people consider quite normal I think). I had OCD quite badly as a teenager (typical hand washing / checking things hundreds of times a day etc. but I never had any help with it). These aspects seem to have gone away, but my anxiety is now focused on fear of germs. I feel a bit tearful writing this down, as it makes me see how irrational it all is, but I can't seem to help it. My mother suffers from severe anxiety (not germ related though) and I really don't want to be like this anymore, but worry the genetic component is so large I won't be able to overcome it. I feel tearful and embarrassed writing this, as it sounds so irrational - I just really want to get better now, so anything I could just start of reading until I've got the confidence to ask the GP would really help. Thank you to anyone who can help even a bit.