Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Partner Told Me He Feels Suicidal

6 replies

CD28 · 05/08/2020 08:57

Hi everyone.

My partner of 1.5 years started a new job this past Monday so today will be day 3. It's a job as a courier driver in our city centre. Before he started this job he has always worked in greens keeping/gardening so this new role is something completely different for him.

Sunday night came and he said he was feeling nervous but looking forward to it. Yesterday through the day I got a couple of messages from him saying he's not enjoying it and finding it too difficult. Now before anyone jumps on and says 'how difficult can delivering parcels be', I urge you to be empathetic. He is not an academic but for what he lacks in numeracy and logical problems, he is a fantastic partner, wonderful father to his daughter from a previous relationship and a bloody hard worker!

When I got home yesterday he told me it was largely because the man he'd been buddied up with for his first few days/weeks wasn't showing him what to do and getting frustrated with him because he was 'too slow'. I tried to explain to him that that wasn't his fault but the guy that he was with! He's been asked to show my partner the ropes and not been doing it correctly. My partner sent a text to his new manager to ask if he could possibly be placed with someone else as he felt he wasn't getting to learn anything and his manager couldn't have been nicer and apologised for the guys behaviour and has said this morning that he will go with someone different. I am hoping they place him with someone who is understanding!

Anyway, this morning my partner woke up very early and was almost inconsolably sobbing because he said he feels like he's a failure and that there's something wrong with him because he can't do this seemingly 'simple' job. My heart was breaking seeing him so upset and I tried to reassure him that I believed in him and that he lacks confidence. He said yesterday he felt like he didn't want to be here (he has a history of depression) and that he was useless.

He's a sensitive man which I suppose some wouldn't like but I love him for it because he truly cares about everything. But I was also getting a little frustrated with his negative attitude about it all.

I suppose I'm really just looking for some advice on how I can help him see he's not a failure, he's priceless to me, his daughter and the baby I am carrying currently. What can I say/do to help him?

OP posts:
MotherFeeder · 05/08/2020 09:10

Your partner sounds like a lovely man and you clearly love and adore him.

If he has a history with depression, I suggest calling the doctor and getting him professional some help.

Good luck

CD28 · 05/08/2020 09:19

@MotherFeeder

Your partner sounds like a lovely man and you clearly love and adore him.

If he has a history with depression, I suggest calling the doctor and getting him professional some help.

Good luck

Thank you for your message.

He's called the GP and will get a telephone consultation later today.

I just wish I knew the right things to say but realistically, I know there's probably nothing I can say x

OP posts:
Onestepup · 05/08/2020 09:21

Sounds like his depression is back. Best thing is to contact the GP as soon as possible and ask them to phone your DH today.

Onestepup · 05/08/2020 09:21

Cross post.

Timeforabiscuit · 05/08/2020 09:33

Honestly, you being supportive (time and means to get to appointments, childcare) not blaming or shaming him for feeling this way, and making sure you have a good support network around you, are the best things you can do.

It can be a long haul back to health, particular in turbulent times - it's brilliant he is proactively getting help.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.