What sort of therapy would you suggest please?

[Family143]

I would really appreciate advice on the best type of therapy for my son. He is a lovely caring 24 year old with a degree and a good graduate job. He is very sociable and has a lot of friends. He lives away but visits regularly and came home during lockdown. He talks to his dad and I and is close to his brothers. However he is very self critical and has what he describes as an angry darkness which bubbles beneath the surface at times. This means he sometimes gets angry at himself over little things and then can't snap out of the mood easily. He normally takes himself off for a walk and tries to get out of his head but says when doing so has thoughts of walking in front of a car but says he would never do this but are part of his dark thoughts. He then feels guilty because he's been moody and didn't want it to affect the people he loves the most - his family. He would like to go and talk to someone. We have no experience of talk therapy other than I had counseling after losing my father. Would the first port of call be the GP? He is worried the GP will just suggest medication and is keen to try therapy first. From research CBT would seem to perhaps be suitable but I would appreciate your thoughts and advice. Many thanks and apologies for the length of post.

I wouldn’t suggest CBT for what you describe.

Ultimately, which type of therapy and which therapist is personal preference, so it’s often recommended that you try meeting with 2/3 to get a feel for the therapist and how they work.

However that said, I would personally recommend Transactional Analysis. Try looking on www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ for someone near you.

@TalullahDingleberry thank you. I really appreciate your reply and I will pass that link on to my son.

Have you considered NLP? Neuro linguistic programming?

The principle behind it is to change your thought patterns so may be a good solution?

I hope you manage to find someone who can help him

@Bigbrowproblems to be honest I haven't really a clue which is why I came on here. It's difficult to put into Google what he's feeling to get results so I am truly grateful for any advice. I'm going to pass this all on to him so he can decide. I just don't want to be dismissive of his feelings and if he thinks he needs help, help him get it. Thank you so much.

After postnatal depression, I had compassion focused therapy (CFT). It helped enormously- it is a version of CBT but with an emphasis on self compassion, and is very effective for people with self critical thoughts. Might be good for your son? It’s really changed the way I think about myself and my emotions

@Anewmum2018 thank you so much for your suggestion and I'm glad you've found it so successful. From the outside I feel like he's too self critical and it is this which takes him to a dark place but I may be wrong which is why I thank you all for the different suggestions. He can look at them all and hopefully one will resonate with him to help him narrow down a local therapist.

You sound like a lovely mum! He’s lucky to have you in his corner, that’s half the battle.
But therapy can really help- something like CBT/ CFT is designed to be short term, and not rake over the past- but rather identify why you think and act the way you do in certain situations, and how you can change this. It was a real revelation to me- coming from a loving home and with no real trauma to speak of, I was worried therapy would be a waste of time (ie I didn’t want to have to invent a cruel upbringing just to have something to talk about!)
But CBT and CFT aren’t like that- very practical and present focused, pretty much just like going to the gym for your mind. Have a look on the BACP register and you should be able to see therapists in your area, alongside their specialism. Good luck!

Ah thank you @Anewmum2018. I do my best and did have to make myself move away from blaming myself as then that's making it about me and not him. I really appreciate your insight into how is worked for you and what it entails. I'd like to think he feels the same about his upbringing as you do yours! I've shown him this thread so he has all the information. Thank you so much.