What to do about hallucinations?

[TwittleBee]

For a year, I see spiders that aren't actually there. It tends to be when I am stressed or particularly anxious. At first it was rather alarming but I've become somewhat used to them.

However, recently they have started appearing on my skin and that is something I am struggling with. Also, I am now hearing them too and it is keeping me from sleeping.

I know I should go to the GP but I'm scared. I've only recently got my premature baby discharged home from NICU and I am worried they may remove me from my home. I've had a stay in a mental health ward before and it was horrible and I really don't want to have that experience again. My baby needs me too as I breastfeed and he settles far better with me than my husband.

My husband knows what I am going through, he is trying to support me and reassure me.

You need some help with this, especially as you say it’s getting worse. I understand you don’t want to go back to the mental health ward, but getting help now might make that less likely and keep you at home with your baby.

Please do get some help with this op. You need some help before it gets worse and you have your baby to think of.

I attempted to call my GP today after both your comments. Frustratingly they are closed for staff training (I didn't even know they closed for that?)

If you cant see your g.p do you have access to a mh worker.

I have some hallucinations due to schizoaffective disorder & I'm very much treated at home with meds!
So try not to worry too much about the possibility of being taken into hospital.

Do keep trying to contact your gp. Keep a diary of any triggers of the hallucinations.

Do you have a CPN or mental health team you can contact? There may be an urgent help number for your local team if you search them on the internet or you can attend A&E if it gets worse and you are struggling to cope. Mother and baby units are very different to mental health wards, they try to keep breastfeeding mothers and their infants together as much as possible as it is far better for both of you. It is far better to seek help now to avoid it escalating as you may not need to be admitted to a ward/unit at all, medication and/or good community support might avoid this.

I can't be certain OP but I'm pretty sure that if you are admitted anywhere for treatment you would be admitted into a mother and baby unit so you wouldn't be separated from your baby.

Healthcare professionals should always recognise that best place for mum and baby is together, especially in the early stages (unless of course the person suffering from MH problems was a risk to the baby which you clearly are not)

Please get the help you need as it's important for both you and baby.

I know you say your issues aren't related to pregnancy or birth but there's some info here which could be helpful (also reiterates they wouldn't take baby from you)

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/mental-health-problems-pregnant/

Good luck and I hope you get this sorted as it doesn't sound very nice

Thank you all.

I'm not completely sure whether they are or aren't pregnancy/ postpartum related as they started a year ago after my baby died so could stem from that grief and stress of NICU life and they've just continued.

Stress is certainly a trigger. I was so stressed last night about today, having to take my baby to hospital for his blood test (he is disabled so will need a lot of these hospital appointments).

I was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis (and some other stuff) after dc1 was born. At no point was it ever suggested that I should be separated from my baby and I was treated in the community.

Even now, 5 and a half years later if I'm very sleep deprived, I have a tendency to hallucinate. According to my psychiatrist trauma and lack of stress coupled with stress can be a factors.

Good luck and OP.

"Lack of sleep" even

Oh sorry to hear that OP it sounds like you've had a really rough time! I deffo think you should reach out, it's good that isn't hasn't bothered you too much up til now but it's much better to get it sorted whilst it's not bothering you rather than wait til it gets to the point where it does ❤️

Just to let you know same as previous poster, I get severe psychosis and I am treated at home with medication some of which I took while breast feeding my youngest and it was all fine.

I wanted to let you know that my daughter gets this too. She has pans/pandas and it's connected with inflammation in the brain.

If you feel spiders on your skin, it's called formication and it's a tactile hallucination.

Have you ever seen the film Brain on Fire on Netflix? It's based on a true story about a woman who also got this sensation.

It's a neurological issue in the main.