Work paranoia or not

[iexpl0re71]

I had a period of leave from work just about 18 months ago dealing with depression. I was off for six months receiving treatment and was discharged from the psychiatrist with medication which I continue to take. My problem is with work. I feel they are treating me differently and don't see me as capable as other employees same as myself. I work as a charge nurse which there are six of us as a group and we are overseen by four senior charge nurses. I feel the SCN now see and treat me differently to the other CN in our group since my illness. I just don't know if I am being paranoid or justified in my thinking and feelings about the whole situation. Although I try not to think or read too much thought to it it still is making my work life miserable which obviously affects me and how I'm feeling. How can I decide if my thoughts/feelings are justified or am I being paranoid about it all? It has been like this the whole period I've been back in work and it's really starting to make me unhappy. Please help. Many thanks to everyone reading this 🙃

Hi @iexpl0re71, sorry you are going through this. I can sort of relate as I am off sick at the moment with my mental health and worry what my colleagues will think. I think as health professionals they should have a good understanding of it and not treat anyone differently. If they are, that is their problem and not yours.
I have a lot of shame attached to mine as I think how can I look after others when I am struggling myself? But the illness does not discriminate and it does not mean you are not good at your job.
You have done amazing to get through that and get back to work so hold your head high.
I read this which helped
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/body/mental-health-professional-thought-knew-everything-depression/amp/

Thats quite a long time to be back and for them to still have some sort of kid gloves approach.

If those are your feelings, that you are treated differently, those are valid, you just need to work out why...is it a specific thing they do, or can you describe it, and speak to someone like a manager or HR about it. Or can you pinpoint what you would like to be different? Could it also be that feelings of stress are piling up again and maybe thats what is causing you to feel this way?

Thank you for taking the time to read. Don't be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do with your depression. Depression is a journey that changes day to day; my opinion here😬 I found the more I tried to resist it the more difficult the load. In acceptance of it I was free to move through it. You can only do the best you can do in any moment. Acceptance is liberating. I'm still sitting back to observe my work situation. Presently in top form. It's been more than a year and a half as I mentioned and they appear to still think I'm incapable of any sort of responsibility. I'm not feeling anxiety since I ve been back just building frustration of my current situation and it's making me really unhappy and it's starting to make me feel unhappy which is now starting to affect my personal life and getting me down. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be a trouble maker for the office to think I'm something they have to deal with