I have an issue, or several issues, with self care. Personal hygiene wise, I am going days without brushing my teeth, hair. Sometimes a week or two without showering. I can't ever seem to do all the dishes or have the kitchen sides clear. I am spending too much on takeaway food. I leave plates and cups all over, because the sink and sides are full. Doing the dishes takes an hour, I can't manage to put them away the same day so then it continues. Laundry can sit in the washer for a week, two, and I keep washing it until I hang it up. My sleep is fairly irregular, I can't manage more than 3-4 good nights, then I seem to get insomnia.
The root cause of it all is isolation, stress and loneliness. There is no one else for me to be accountable too, so who is here to see or care or keep me accountable? I have been single for 8 years, so I really can't remember what it is like or believe I will be with someone again. I have been working evenings and weekends, maybe 3 of 4 weekends a month, and 5 of 7 evenings a week, for probably over a year now, or at least it feels like evenings and weekends are consumed with thoughts of work, because I can't ever seem to get on top of it.
I can't do it anymore. I know if I gave up work I could get a handle on it, but that is not an option. I fantasise about working part time but I think that feels like career suicide. At least if I went with that option it would have to be working somewhere else.
Has anyone else been in this position, of looking sort of okay outside but actually everything is pretty crummy. Am I the worst human ever for living the way I do? Is my health important or does it not matter? Am I supposed to just be able to bear it all?
Is it actually possible to have a full time job and not 'take work home'? As I have forgotten what this is like. Can I turn it around without having to change my job/contract?
Thanks if you read this far, and if you have any advice.