Every thing is getting on top of me right now.

[blueteddy]

I suffered from pnd after the birth of ds2 & was put on ad's & given counselling (long story!)
I have recently felt on top of things again & took myself of the tablets a while back & srarted 2 think that things were back on track.
However, over the last couple of weeks every thing is starting 2 get on top of me again & I'm getting scared that I'm going back 2 how I was.
My ds1 has recently started school & is having big problems mixing with the other children(he is an extremly anxious child) & settling 2 activitys.
I had this problem with him 4 a while at nursery & blamed myself because of my state of mind at the time.
It was overcome around 6 mths b4 he left there.
It does not help that I am a member of staff at the school that he has just started & imagine everyone I know there talking about how odd my child is.
I have a parents evening on Monday, which I have 2 attend alone, as dh is at work (as always!)
I also have a 1.5 yr old who is into absolutly everything & driving me mad constantly!
My dh is working a lot of overtime this month, so I am dealing with them pretty much on my own & working myself.
I keep finding myself in tears at the moment & am so worried that I am sloping backwards.
I know that dh is working 12 hrs all weekend & it is already worrying me that I will not be able 2 cope.
Should I get back in touch with my hv, or do u think it will pass?

Is your health visitor the person who was supportive the last time?

hi blueteddy, i think it's best you go back to your GP and speak to them. If you're at your ds's school could you encourage him to speak to other children or another member of staff to do it. Im sorry I cant make many suggestions. Someone else should have better ideas than me. Hope you feel better soon xxx

Did you come off the tablets gradually, or did you just stop taking them? If you just stop you can come crashing back down again - likewise if you weren't on them long enough (9 months to a year is recommended).

You do sound like you have a lot on your plate - do you have family nearby who can help out? I would give your HV a ring, or see your GP. When I lapsed back into depression after the birth of my first son my HV started coming to visit weekly again (even though my son was, by then 18 months old). It helped a lot to have someone to talk to about how I was feeling.

If you do decide to go on anti-depressants again don't feel like you have failed: you're still being the Mum, they just help you a bit!

Oh and my son was very unsettled when he first started at nursery - painfully shy, didn't play with other children and I blamed myself completely. He's 7 now - and while still shy - is doing much better. maybe your son is just going to take a little longer to settle, like mine.

HTH.

Yes my hv was very supportive last time & organised my counselling etc.
The only problem is that she has a son in the class that I work in.

I was on the ad's 4 a year, but I did come off them quicker than I should have done, as I thought that I was ok.
My eldest son is playing me up at the moment as well.
I just feel like a failure of a Mum.

Well if she is a good HV, she will see that asking for help is better than soldiering on regardless - I honestly don't think she would judge your abilities at work based on the fact that you are struggling a bit at home. If you really don't want to confide in here, see your GP instead - that's entirely confidential.

You're not a failure - you just need some help, which is nothing to be ashamed of (there are millions of us in the same boat). It does sounds to me like you came off them too fast - you have to do it really really slowly. Make an appointment with your GP and go and tell him/her how you are feeling.

Please don't think you're a failure. Ive been on ADs too, and they are there to help you. You're being very strong and asking for help can be a hard thing to do xxx

Thanks 4 the advice marthamoo.
I think that maybe I will seek help b4 I lose it completly.
I am relying on alcahol at the moment, which I know is not good!

Thanks 2 Tammybear!
You r right, maybe I should go back & ask 4 help, instead of pretending that I'm fine!

Alcohol is a depressant anyway so yes, not the best thing though I know how tempting it is when you've had a bad day....

Please do see your GP. We will nag you 'til you do

lol marthamoo. going to see your gp is just to help you. and please don't think you're a failure. you're not, and you'll be doing a good thing for yourself to ask for help xxx

Yes you r right. I have been losing it badly with ds1, which I know is wrong (Super Nanny would be ashamed of me!)
I will admit defeat again asap!

bluetedy- it's not admitting defeat if you ask for help. Asking for help is a positive thing in that you recognise you're not well.
I've been a bit down recently and i find that addressing the issues that upset me one at a time really helps.
Small steps rather than trying to run. Also maybe you came off your tablets too soon and without medical supervision.
Please go to see your GP and ask for help- nothing to be ashamed of.
Also - why is the fact that your hv has a son in your class an issue? It shouldn't be as she doesn't discuss her work at home

I know that it sounds silly, but the reason that it was bothering me that my HV's son is in my class is because I started 2 get it in my head that she would feel that I'm not fit 2 do my job, as I can't deal with my own kids right now!
Any way, after being awake from 2am until gone 5am last night & then getting myself up 4 work, I have made the desision that I must get this sorted b4 I make myself really ill.
I will try & get hold of her tomorrow, as it is my half day at work.
Thanks 2 all 4 your advice!

blueteddy, she's not going to think that of you, and you going to ask her for help isn't going to make her think any less of you. it takes courage to ask for help when you need it, hope you feel better xxx