Counsellor Not Getting It

[Lalaloveyou2020]

I am in therapy and while at have issues, the biggest one is really my boyfriend. The relationship is toxic and to be honest he ticks all the boxes of emotional Abuse. I am also not perfect but I do want to leave him, however my counsellor keeps nxing the idea. Has anyone ever gone for counselling and felt worse after? I have read Lundy Bancroft and boyfriend is definitely a water torturer. I feel like I'm going insane to be honest.

You don't need your counsellor's permission to end a relationship. Counsellors are trained not to give advice or to put their thoughts onto you. You might feel that the counsellor is telling you to stick with the relationship when the counsellor might be biting their tongue to avoid giving you the impression that they are telling you what to do. Use the time to clarify your own thoughts until you feel able to make your own decision.

No, I thought that too but when I gave her a list of reasons why I want to break up with him she countered with a list of reasons why I might be wrong about him. I actually feel worse after seeing her.

Ditch him. And then ditch her. It doesn't sound like she's a good fit for you. If your relationship is making you unhappy then she should be supporting you to end it. Do you ever feel better after a session? How long have you been seeing her?

Sometimes you do leave a session feeling awful but it shouldn't be like that all the time. Are you comfortable with her, with telling her things?

I've had a few sessions that were emotionally intense and draining and have remained upset for hours afterwards, to the point that I have perfected the art of having a complete sobbing meltdown in the middle lane of the A406 but most of the time I do leave feeling as though a weight has been lifted.

Your counsellor should be a confident, someone you can talk to about anything and feel like they've got your back, not a further source of distress.

That sounds really odd. Your counsellor definitely should not be playing devil's advocate. Are they registered with the BACP? I think you should see if you can change to a different counsellor but I appreciate that is difficult at the moment.