Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Parent with mental health

5 replies

Coolcrazyhappymum · 05/07/2020 00:55

I'm looking for advice 😊. I've struggled with my mental health since I was 12 I am now 17 with a 9 month old son . I've been under ss myself since I was 14 I gave birth to my son at 16 who then was also given a social worker . My mental health was stable until a few weeks after I had my son I noticed my mental health went down hill . I went to the doctors because both me and my mother thought I was suffering with postnatal depression I had thoughts that I wasn't good enough for my son that I'd just be better of ending my life I told the doctor all of this he said you'll be fine I kept going back because I just kept feeling worse. At this time I was going to court to see if my childs plan would be lowered and it was heading that way the judge said I was doing amazing .but his social always seemed to have a problem with me .one night I just kinda had enough which lead to me harming myself my son was asleep at the time he did not see anything and after I just went back to doing everything a mum should do for their kid I did not let it affect him .But the next day I woke up to be told I've got to go to court they are going to try and take him of me the next day I went to court and got the worst news a mum could be told we are putting your child into foster care .this was in February I still get to see him and I go back to court next month to see if I get him back . I feel like they failed me and my son 😡they did not give me the help I needed i was also a breastfeeding mother instead of giving me the help they just decided to rip my child away from me .which is not right in my eyes .What's everyone else's opinion. 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Someone1987 · 07/07/2020 22:25

This is heartbreaking, what an awful situation for you.
What reason did they state for taking your son away, it seems wrong if it was down to MH issues, as I have a 7 month old son and have MH issues but I didn't know they could remove a baby for that.
Have they told you what to do to be able to look after him yourself? Are you being helped for your mental health?

Coolcrazyhappymum · 08/07/2020 00:04

They took him due to one night I self harmed and the next day I was being told by the staff in my mother and baby placement that I had to go to court .but both me and my mother thought it was absolutely ridiculous as devontae was perfectly safe even the staff at my placement stated that he was safe sadly his guardian who helps the judge make the decision was away that day so she only heard one side of the story on the phone before my hearing and she has told me before how good of a job I'm doing so her not being there didn't help I just feel like they have failed me and his son.tbh he social worker is useless I phone him constantly about my son he hardly ever awnsers and if I ask him something for example last week I asked when I'm going to get to see my son face to face again because I've only been seeing him on video call due to covid he said I'll ring you back on monday I should know then couldn't get hold of him until today just for him to tell me I'll get back to you on Friday. My sons foster carer is amazing shes always keeping me informed and always makes sure he remembers me as mum .but social services are just failing me and my son .they was meant to get me started on dbt at the beginning of last month because my judge wanted me to start it before I go back to court and social services still haven't sorted it out . @Someone1987

OP posts:
canigooutyet · 08/07/2020 00:18

One get yourself a solicitor.
Two don't rely on SS setting up anything. DBT etc you can also request this through your gp, your mh team etc. Some you can also self refer to.

Other than that I have no advice other than you have to try and convince those around you that you aren't a risk to others around you and yourself.

I know it's hard when you cut to try and convince others it's not an end of life thing, it's a way to fulfill something within us.

Work on your coping strategies, they will help to control those natural angry outbursts if you can help to stay calm. Find that happy place within you for when it will be needed. They don't always help us from harming ourselves, but they sometimes help with other areas.

canigooutyet · 08/07/2020 00:22

CalmHarm is also a very useful and free app designed for teens who self-harm and is based on DBT. Although aimed at teens I know a number of adults who also use it and not just those who self harm.

calmharm.co.uk/

Coolcrazyhappymum · 08/07/2020 08:12

Thankyou yeah my cahms worker is the one who's meant to be sorting my dbt out but still nothing. I have a solicitor and shes really good hence why all my other court hearings went good because she knew how good I was doing but where as my sons guardian wasn't actually there the decision was made unfairly . Thank you for the advice 😊 @canigooutyet

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page