I’m looking for some counselling. I was thinking about it pre lockdown and I was googling counsellors in my area but I couldn’t really work out how to work out who to go with / how to chose the right person.
My issues aren’t at all serious so I’d be paying privately rather than going through the nhs.
Basically, I struggled massively with having my third child as I had desperately hoped for a daughter and he was a son. Now I’m trying for a fourth (and last) child and I don’t want to feel those same feelings again. I want to make peace with never being a mother to a daughter before it is a definite thing so that when it is definite I don’t feel sad, I can just feel happy for a fourth son.
It’s a weird feeling I have. It’s like I know that the fourth child will be a son and I’m excited for that and I can see all the pros of a fourth son but equally I’m grieving for the daughter I will never have and I feel a huge sense of loss about that.
The feelings are real and intense (even though it must seem really pathetic) which is why I thought counselling might be helpful.