Bipolar of meds

[Theodoreb]

I have bipolar I am off my olanzapine 20mg as I am coming off with psychiatrist permission to start a new one. Today I did something stupid and manic and now comes the shame. I slept with a friend who I swore I would never ever and I did it.

Anyone??

Oh gosh Theodoreb I'm really sorry to hear this. I'm sure someone with more knowledge will be along to support you, but I didn't want you to go unheard. I guess you have to be kind to yourself, in that you're going to be offtrack until the new meds kick in. Doesn't sound like it's going to be easy though, do you have a support worker you can talk to?

I think you need to be really compassionate towards yourself right now. This has clearly happened due to stopping your medication and was therefore outside of your control. Shame is unnecessary however I recognise how difficult this is. No one who knows anything about bipolar disorder would judge you for behaviour whilst unmedicated. I think you need to speak to your psychiatrist ASAP and explain what has happened as he/she should be safeguarding you as you transition from one medication to another. Having a manic episode and sleeping with someone you wouldn't usually sleep with is not an acceptable side effect and they have a duty of care to you.

Is there anyone in real life you can speak to?

@Constella thank you so much I just feel so alone right now. I have no support worker apart from a direct number for my psychiatrist.

@autumn1638 I tried telling my mam and she got very angry with me for having sex with this friend as there are a million reasons why I shouldn't have. Kinda got off the phone feeling worse. I start new meds Monday so hoping I can hold it together until then. My psychiatrist has said if I'm struggling too much I can call and get straight through, he gave me a number and is calling every week.

We decided together to swap over quickly as we felt it would be better if I were back functioning quicker.

That's hard that you tried to talk to your mam and she shamed you. She clearly cares about you but it's not really very helpful . Do you have any non judgemental people in your life?

Definitely think a call to your psychiatrist is a good idea even if it's just for a chat.

I think if you can make it to the weekend when you start your new meds you'll start to feel better again. Do you have plans for the rest of the week?

@autumn1638 I can't tell any of my other friends I'm to ashamed, plus only other friend I have is a close friend of both of ours and I know he has feelings for me so this would cause big issues with our group even more than it already will and the other friend is the one I always turn to and struggling now I can't. Was hoping maybe one day for relationship with him guess that's not going to happen now seen as I've blown this.

I will talk to my psychiatrist just so disappointed in myself. I knew what was going to end up happening when he came down I should have got him to leave. I know I picked him over the other friend because generally if I sleep with someone while manic I can't be with them again and didn't want that to happen with the other friend my god I've made such a mess of things two nights of my meds.

Hi @Theodoreb sorry you’re going through a hard time. I have bipolar too. Kind of confused with being manic for one day though, unless this has been going on a for a while? I’m not trying to have a dig or anything, just concerned I think you’re mixed personally, which is dangerous. Please don’t blame yourself, it’s the illness. I had a similar thing when I came off aripiprazole (done it myself and thought I was fine) was ill within the week. Please get in touch with your psych and tell them what’s happened

It's been 3 days and I usually start experiencing symptoms within missing one dose, plus if you look up olanzapine withdrawal it causes mania.

That and fact I haven't slept since Sunday

@Theodoreb You seem defensive? Like I said, I’m not trying to have a go. I’ve been there, worn the t shirt. And yes I know about olanzapine. I haven’t been on it, but I’ve been one other various antipsychotics. I’m just trying to help you

Sorry if I'm defensive I'm manic meaning psychosis and paranoia does tend to make me defensive but sorry if you weren't attacking me. But I always feel attacked and persecuted when manic.

Ok. How are you doing now?

Hi OP. Don't be disappointed in yourself. I don't have bipolar but I and many others have done things like this too. Sometimes things just happen! All you need to be concerned about just now is if you had safe sex. If you didn't, assuming you are female can you get the map?

I'm not able to sleep, and cannot eat anything.

@TARSCOUT omg I didn't even think of that I'll have to get MAP first thing in morning that hadn't even entered my brain there so many thoughts but I can't seem to even grip one tidy.

Is there any prn your doctor can prescribe whilst you ride our this med change?

@superscientist no there isn't as I've been on such a high amount of olanzapine for so many years that I need to get it out of my system before I can start my new anti psychotic.

Good morning @Theodoreb
Ah glad to be of some help. I hope I don't sound condescending but would making lists help any?.That way you can write and check off so that if you're at manic stage you could maybe bring yourself down a but by checking a list. It works for me if I'm panicking, kind of like a safety net? I know BP isn't as simple as.panicking but just wondered.

Op I really think you should contact your psychiatrist. He/she may be able to give you something like diazepam to get you through the next week or so while you get used to the new medication. Your friend sounds a bit like he took advantage of you being manic?

That's a shame, I hope you get through this with minimal impact

On the MAP front, depending on where you are in your cycle a coil maybe a more suitable emergency contraception method the MAP works by delaying ovulation if you ovulated already you can still get pregnant even if you have taken the MAP. The coil can be used for up to 5 days post sex.

I am on maximum daily amount of diazepam, I take diazepam and clonazepam. I can't have a coil fitted as always need them done under anesthetic had 3 done. I am early in cylle only on day 7 so MAP will work.

I am not at full blown manic yet but I need to get a handle on this as I don't recognize once I get to a certain point. If I'm any worse by morning I'll phone my psychiatrist just want to get through this and keep telling myself I'm half way through.

Really not helping that dc 1 and 3 are being naughty at the minute, don't feel manic now feel depressed, just feel like God could cut me some slack for just a little while. I have a lot to cope with and no help and I am of my anti psychotic and in physical agony and my kids won't stop misbehaving. I don't get why I have to be pushed so hard why can't I ever be allowed peace and why must everything constantly be so hard.

Mood has changed again I want to smash whole house up, I am going to call my psychiatrist in the morning. Settled down for another long night wide awake when everyone else is sleeping.